smartass_captain | Unconventional Coping Mechanisms [for heirtothedragonsfire ](dated Post-Beyond plot)

There's several messages waiting for Jim on his PINpoint when he gets out of his meeting with Commodore Carthwright and back to his temporary quarters. The recovery efforts on Starbase Yorktown are proceeding without trouble and Jim's finished the worst of his post mission duties days ago with Bones and Spock. All the letters have been sent. Recovery missions to Altamid and the surrounding space for body recovery are still ongoing, so there is no date for the commemoration to the lives lost yet.

In the meantime, he's been in briefing after meeting after thinktank giving his recount of the mission and more importantly, the breaching of the nebula. Being able to navigate it opens up whole new sectors of uncharted space and Starfleet has been going for the Federation's backing on getting the gear in place to do do just that.

An exciting prospect. One Captain Kirk is more than happy to lend his assistance on.

Jim sends off replies to the messages left for him with a small smile on his face. Being connected to the Nexus again and his friends is a breath of fresh air he'd missed like a lost limb when he'd thought it was taken away for good. His smile fades when he sees the last one.

Isidor wants to meet with him? They haven't spoken in months. Not since their group efforts in Tamriel. Jim hadn't been conscious enough to thank her when they split up at the end and before he even caught sight of her at Halloween everything was pain and that insidious orange glow. Nightmares that still leave bolting upright in bed screaming more nights than not. He scrubs a hand down his face and keys out a reply. Agreeing to a time and the coordinates Isidor has left for him in the Nexus.

He's in his dress uniform when he comes through the Nexus at the agreed upon time, a sleek grey military dress uniform with hat tucked under his arm as he pulls open the door to an elegant tea parlor. Every table is its own little secluded booth. The hostess walks Jim over to a familiar face waiting for him. He takes a seat across from Isidor Durant.

"I was gonna apologize about the outfit but I have a feeling if I'd had time to change before coming here I'd be woefully under dressed."

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Isidor's face lifts so she can look at Jim with wide, surprised eyes. After everything they saw, after everything they were through, he wants to marry this man? A hundred thousand reasons not to rush through her head as though he were a Durant. None of them will matter to him, she realises. Like he said, they're not even friends. Still, it seems... bizarre.

"Are you sure that's sensible?" She can't help herself. It doesn't matter what little it will affect her, but she can't not say something. "Wouldn't it be best to... take time before you rush into a decision like that?"

"If you think I rushed into this decision--"

Jim sighs and cuts himself of before he ends up snapping at Isidor again for something she really can't have any way of knowing. Leans his head back a moment and forces himself to gather his thoughts.

"I've been planning to ask him since well before the whole fiasco in Tamriel happened. Nearly a year now. And shit just kept happening. And I didn't plan on asking him the minute I got back here, but he was present when I was returned the few personal items of mine that survived the Enterprise's destruction, one of which, was a half ruined amulet of Mara. Which is pretty much an engagement ring over there. He panicked because he thought I'd accepted it from someone else and I kind of had to tell him at that point. So...now here we are."

It's not the suave romantic moment Jim thinks Felix deserved, but a damaged yet still Mara-blessed amulet does reflect these two broken yet still attached men a lot more than anything else could. It's too soon to all the trauma Felix has endured and not when Jim would have chosen to ask, but putting it off is just waiting for the next big thing to happen in the Nexus or on Jim's mission.

It wasn't perfect, but nothing is.

The point is, they're together again. The captain doesn't think anything else could make him this relieved.

"I'm not going to pretend Felix is perfect any more than you can claim the same over Harrowh--over Peter. But I know that almost losing him was the worst fucking thing I've ever had to cope with and that includes a fuck of a lot of trauma as it turns out. I've already risked my soul for him, Isidor. I'm not going to turn away now."

"Harrowheart," she corrects sharply. It takes effort for her to soften her voice when she continues. "His name is Harrowheart."

With that aside, she inhales slowly, looking around while Jim gives the rest of his speech. Once he's finished she gives him the thin lipped look of a disapproving aunt.

"I'm not saying you're going to turn away from him, or that you don't care for each other. All I'm saying is that it isn't wise to jump into big life choices while you're both suffering from trauma. So you'll probably still feel the same later, and that's fine. But making decisions when you can barely process them? Making memories that will be linked with the pain of you both healing?" She raises her eyebrows and tilts her head in a look that says 'come on'.

Jim nods along with Isidor's stress on the deathknight's name. There's a Lot to say about the Azerothian worgen but Jim doesn't feel like now is the time to even begin touching that. Not before they've come to understand each other and the boundaries there for conversation.

Jim might have stumbled onto one of hers already but she's doing an awfully good job of riding the line of his too. They have quite a lot in common, and that includes thinking they know what's best for other people a lot of the time. He doesn't drop Isidor's gaze, refuses to look cowed down or regretful. She's saying things he's said to himself already but it's not as though he can take it back nor that they could even rush to act on it if they wanted to. A mountain of work stands between them going any further. Still, he digs in his heels and refuses to break Isidor's gaze for several long moments after she's done and giving him that Look.

"You're not wrong." It's the most diplomatic concession Jim could make himself give when he looks away. His tone is quiet. Respectful again. "But it's done. I'm not gonna waste time worrying about it when there's so much more to do. And that includes finding some good outlets for you, so. I'd best get to work."

Edited 2018-03-10 15:23 (UTC)

Though he says she isn't wrong, it feels like he wants to say otherwise. The captain is being diplomatic and she knows it. Her scepticism doesn't quite vanish as she sits back and folds her hands on her knees. If she hadn't surrendered such sensitive information to him she might push him on the matter, but now she doesn't have a choice but to stand back and say nothing. It's as though her hands are tied, and she hates it.

"I suppose you'd better," is all she can say in response at first.

After a moment she calms down a bit more and though she raises an eyebrow at him, her voice is soft. "I hope you know what you're doing."

Unconventional Coping Mechanisms [for heirtothedragonsfire ](dated Post-Beyond plot)

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