Spock is not immune to fears and anxieties. He is terrified that Jim will realize that Spock is not actually worth it, that he will find Spock neither Vulcan nor Human enough, that he will again be left alone in the liminal space he occupies.
He loves Jim, though. He loves Jim in ways he has found impossible to excise and while the risk is there, Jim is worth it.
Jim is also, at current, drawing a low, wanting sound out of Spock with words alone. He cannot tell which he wants more, the physical connection of sex or the emotional connection afterward. But he is being granted both and will not waste the opportunity.
Spock nods, free hand roaming to touch Jim wherever he can reach. There is a sense of adoration he does not even try to hide; he does at length shift though, sitting up just enough to gather himself. He does not, as it happens, reach for the bottle of lube. Instead he drags his hand through his dripping slick to coat his fingers so that he can hook his arm under Jim's knee to lift his leg and guide him to the best position for Spock to start to work a finger into him: there is an air of confidence at least to the way he does it, in just how wet he made sure his hand was before even trying.
"Conveniently, I am able to provide both of those requests."
His tone has shifted, a little more rough at the edges, almost ragged with want. Another kiss to his mouth as Spock acclimates him to the sensation with the same care he would exercise had he not been reasonably certain that Jim is going to want more and potentially demand it soon enough.
His teeth catch Jim's lower lip and he gives a gentle tug—gentle at the moment, at least.
"I have dreamed of this as well," is murmured against his mouth. Jim beneath him, Jim practically begging for him. It feels heady.
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He loves Jim, though. He loves Jim in ways he has found impossible to excise and while the risk is there, Jim is worth it.
Jim is also, at current, drawing a low, wanting sound out of Spock with words alone. He cannot tell which he wants more, the physical connection of sex or the emotional connection afterward. But he is being granted both and will not waste the opportunity.
Spock nods, free hand roaming to touch Jim wherever he can reach. There is a sense of adoration he does not even try to hide; he does at length shift though, sitting up just enough to gather himself. He does not, as it happens, reach for the bottle of lube. Instead he drags his hand through his dripping slick to coat his fingers so that he can hook his arm under Jim's knee to lift his leg and guide him to the best position for Spock to start to work a finger into him: there is an air of confidence at least to the way he does it, in just how wet he made sure his hand was before even trying.
"Conveniently, I am able to provide both of those requests."
His tone has shifted, a little more rough at the edges, almost ragged with want. Another kiss to his mouth as Spock acclimates him to the sensation with the same care he would exercise had he not been reasonably certain that Jim is going to want more and potentially demand it soon enough.
His teeth catch Jim's lower lip and he gives a gentle tug—gentle at the moment, at least.
"I have dreamed of this as well," is murmured against his mouth. Jim beneath him, Jim practically begging for him. It feels heady.