smartass_captain

From:

"Whoa whoa, okay calm down Jim. Jimmy come on. I don't know what rumors you're hearing--"

Don't you fucking "Jimmy" me I'm not a goddamned kid anymore." He's in Sam's space, hissing every word and shaking with barely contained rage. Sam honestly? Is a little afraid whatever rumor is going around is going to make his baby brother actually try to swing at him so he's operating in survival mode. The same thing that always worked when they'd get into fights as kids.

"Jim. I promise, whatever you've heard isn't true. Have I ever dated another guy? No! And I wouldn't do that to you, especially not with your room mate." The fact Jim thinks he'd fuck that walking toaster is insulting really but he's heard of people spiking Jim's drinks before. If his little brother went and got himself so fucked up he thinks Sam's got as shit taste as he does, he can smooth this over and Jim will owe him.

And it sorta works? For a second or two Jim just glares at him. Then his gaze flickers and he takes half a step back. Ready to hear Sam out if nothing else. Even if he doesn't believe it. Which is when the Vulcan decides to waltz into Sam's room.

"What, because you respect me so much?" Jim says, disbelief dripping from his words. Sam looks over Jim's shoulder and he can't help it. He barks out a short laugh at the absurdity of the whole thing.

"No! Because even if I magically woke up one day with your feral urge to sock cock, Jim, there is no way in hell I'd look at That--" Nodding over Jim's shoulder to where Spock is standing in His room like the Vulcan belongs anywhere near here. "And think, yeah. That's what I'm into."

"...That?" Jim doesn't get it at first. What, Vulcan physiology that much different than a human's? Sam's a xenoanthropology and biology specialist and he can't talk anatomy??? But he noticed the way Sam nodded. He looks over his shoulder. Spock is here. He wasn't talking to Jim. He was talking to Spock. About Spock. Like he wasn't even a Person.

You know, the guy Crushing on Sam Kirk. Even in some crazy universe that Sam didn't know before, he does NOW. And he still said that to Spock?? Jim calmly turns back around. Looks up at Sam. And the second Sam Kirk opens his mouth to say something else Jim rears back and decks him so hard he stumbles against his desk and topples into a heap on the floor.

"If I ever catch you near Spock again you're going to get a lot more than a fat lip." Jim grits out through clenched teeth.