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smartass_captainThe night Sam Kirk walks into the Kirk family farmhouse his little brother throws a fucking beer bottle at his face. He misses. If he'd hit, the next several years might not have happened.
Jim is twenty years old and his life is a fucking mess.
He's no longer in the goddamn hospital every other month, but still in mandatory therapy until he ages out of the system on his 21st birthday. His therapist has worked with him since. Well. Since he got mandated one by the University of Iowa's children's hospital when they brought him home and nursed him back from the brink of being starved to death. Sam isn't here about Tarsus though. He's here because he heard little Jimmy just got out of a stint in county for petty theft.
Why's a guy stealing bread in this day and age? Jim doesn't give him a satisfactory answer. He can't. There isn't one. He'd been better until he'd left his personal device at home for a weekend boke trip. Without his meal schedule Jim can't function. But see, his body doesn't tell him when he's hungry anymore either, so Jim hadn't noticed until it was day three and he started hurting. All sense left him. Next thing he knows he's sitting in a jail cell being watched while he eats the food they gave him because anyone can see Jim Kirk is still too thin. Jim hates it. That look of fucking pity.
He was home and on his fourth beer of the evening when his fucking older brother strides in like he hasn't been gone for the last damn near decade of Jim's life.
"Sober up. I want you to come into town with me tomorrow and take a test." Sam had said. Jim thinks he told his brother to fuck off. He thinks he tried, but he might have stormed off so the other didn't see him break down into tears. He dodges Sam for three days before they bond over noon breakfast talking about when their mom finally found out about and ditched Frank. Sam asks where Winona sent him then, since neither of them believes for a second she stayed Earthside to raise him herself.
Jim lies.
But the lie works. And so he lets Sam drive them into town chattering the whole time about Starfleet. He wants Jim to take an aptitude test. If he passes, well. Dear ol' big brother's gonna whisk him away to San Francisco so they can enlist together. Sam got in, you see. Second attempt, so maybe Jimmy won't be going with him Right away.
"Jim." Jim corrects him. He's toying with the idea of maybe letting Sam talk him into this, but he's not forgetting the last damn near decade so easily. Not forgiving it yet, either. He tells himself he'll take the stupid test to shut his brother up. And hell, maybe he'll even beat his 'big bro' and pass on a first try. He aces it, hangover and all. Sam seems real keen on congratulating himself for giving Jim pointers the last couple days and Jim doesn't argue much.
A change of scenery seems like a decent idea.
All he wants to take fits into a single duffel bag he tosses into the back of Sam's beater of a truck and they make for San Francisco...
Jim is twenty years old and his life is a fucking mess.
He's no longer in the goddamn hospital every other month, but still in mandatory therapy until he ages out of the system on his 21st birthday. His therapist has worked with him since. Well. Since he got mandated one by the University of Iowa's children's hospital when they brought him home and nursed him back from the brink of being starved to death. Sam isn't here about Tarsus though. He's here because he heard little Jimmy just got out of a stint in county for petty theft.
Why's a guy stealing bread in this day and age? Jim doesn't give him a satisfactory answer. He can't. There isn't one. He'd been better until he'd left his personal device at home for a weekend boke trip. Without his meal schedule Jim can't function. But see, his body doesn't tell him when he's hungry anymore either, so Jim hadn't noticed until it was day three and he started hurting. All sense left him. Next thing he knows he's sitting in a jail cell being watched while he eats the food they gave him because anyone can see Jim Kirk is still too thin. Jim hates it. That look of fucking pity.
He was home and on his fourth beer of the evening when his fucking older brother strides in like he hasn't been gone for the last damn near decade of Jim's life.
"Sober up. I want you to come into town with me tomorrow and take a test." Sam had said. Jim thinks he told his brother to fuck off. He thinks he tried, but he might have stormed off so the other didn't see him break down into tears. He dodges Sam for three days before they bond over noon breakfast talking about when their mom finally found out about and ditched Frank. Sam asks where Winona sent him then, since neither of them believes for a second she stayed Earthside to raise him herself.
Jim lies.
But the lie works. And so he lets Sam drive them into town chattering the whole time about Starfleet. He wants Jim to take an aptitude test. If he passes, well. Dear ol' big brother's gonna whisk him away to San Francisco so they can enlist together. Sam got in, you see. Second attempt, so maybe Jimmy won't be going with him Right away.
"Jim." Jim corrects him. He's toying with the idea of maybe letting Sam talk him into this, but he's not forgetting the last damn near decade so easily. Not forgiving it yet, either. He tells himself he'll take the stupid test to shut his brother up. And hell, maybe he'll even beat his 'big bro' and pass on a first try. He aces it, hangover and all. Sam seems real keen on congratulating himself for giving Jim pointers the last couple days and Jim doesn't argue much.
A change of scenery seems like a decent idea.
All he wants to take fits into a single duffel bag he tosses into the back of Sam's beater of a truck and they make for San Francisco...
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Date: 2025-02-06 01:37 am (UTC)"I was not aware. When I had arrived on Earth it was just after—"
When Jim kisses him, Spock presses into it eagerly, open and hungry and wanting. The catch of Jim's blunted teeth manages to steal a quiet, wanting sound out of him, and then he breathes quietly, taking everything in. "I was not prepared for the depth of emotion I began to feel for you, and as the dissolution of my engagement was mere weeks before the start of term, I did not see myself as desirable."
Spock initiates another kiss, lingering, his free hand dropping to Jim's hip.
"I was unable to ascertain how someone as attractive, intelligent, and kind as you could be attracted to me."
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Date: 2025-02-06 02:01 am (UTC)"And I'm--" His voice wobbles then because Spock is calling Jim a whole lot of things he doesn't feel like he's earned.
It's for the best Spock cuts him off with another kiss. This one not as deep, but a testing of the waters. Lingering. Mapping out the shape of Jim's full lips with his own.
"....I want to have sex with you really bad right now....i-is the thing." Jim groans softly between them. "Wanna swallow you down, have you fuck my mouth...or ride you until you d-don't even know your name anymore...!" His fingers fist in the fabric of Spock's shirt. "And I know that's too f-fast, too much but...!"
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Date: 2025-02-06 03:22 am (UTC)After, when Jim is breathing words between them, Spock swallows. Normally he might have several questions, but he is able to glean meaning well enough from context that he simply inhales a little sharply and blinks both sets of eyelids before looking at him, hand lifting to close atop Jim's in his shirt.
He nudges their foreheads together gently; there is transference but it is steady and grounding. This is the most Spock has touched anyone other than regular contact with his mother as a child, and well, with T'Pring while they were still betrothed.
"We have established that we both have long-term affection and desire for one another," he begins reasonably, "and should you desire to wait, I will not push you. I have lived with you in this room for months with you almost entirely undressed at all times and have, as I have heard it colloquially put, 'survived.' I will not cease to do so should you want to progress more slowly. However, I will also note that my opinion of you will not change regardless of the speed or lack thereof and I hope yours of me would not either."
A beat passes.
"To clarify, I have desired to have sexual intercourse with you for some time now and continue to desire to."
At least they're both horny losers
Date: 2025-02-06 03:41 am (UTC)If Jim does this, it's going to Matter. The thought terrifies him. He's gonna fuck it up like he fucks Everything up.
But Spock's there, urging them together until their foreheads bump so gently and rest just so. It makes him feel better. Better able to breathe. So Jim listens. And then his breath leaks out of him in a desperate, needy rush at the last.
"I'll explain anything you want after if you touch me like you've wanted to right fucking now."
they're so stupid (fond)
Date: 2025-02-06 04:34 am (UTC)He is patient as Jim processes, as he comes to his decision.
His lips curve up slightly at the corners. Just a little. "I believe you will."
Then he unceremoniously picks Jim directly off the floor, hoists him over his shoulder, carts him over to one of the beds, and practically tosses him onto it. "You are overdressed."
A pointed statement as Spock starts to remove his own layers, still standing so as to get the robes off properly.
I love using his stupid icons so much
Date: 2025-02-06 04:58 am (UTC)"Holy...fucking shit..!" The words tremble out of Jim's mouth when he bounces once on the bed before he settles. "I-wh. I mean yeah. Yes. Hell yes. Big agree." How fast can Jim get out of his uniform? He's about to set a new record. His red jacket gets flung over to his own bed, but everything else kind of bunches where Jim deposits it right next to him, only to slither into a pile of fabric off the side of Spock's bed.
But at the last, Jim hooks his thumbs into his fitted underwear and peels it down off of him with a needy groan just to show off how goddamned hard he is already for Spock and his attention.
"Come here, c'mere I can get that off you just--"
they're REALLY good lmao
Date: 2025-02-06 05:38 am (UTC)That is not to say he dislikes it, however, as he briefly feels as though his mouth has gone dry from the sound of Jim moaning in his ear. Spock watches him the entire time as he undresses, gaze dark and hungry, and he's almost fully undressed by the time Jim tries to get him onto the bed and closer to him already: all he has left are his pants and underwear, and for once in his life Spock has not taken the time to fold any of it, just tossed it over the back of his desk chair.
Spock shifts close enough for Jim to get his hands on him, but he busies him instead with straddling his thighs and kissing him, harder than before, desperate and heated with a low groan against his mouth before he starts dragging his attentions lower, teeth catching briefly at his throat, his collarbone—
—his eyes flick up to look at his face, one eyebrow arched slightly, as he presses a kiss to the center of his chest in the same moment that one of his hands slides up the length of Jim's inner thigh.
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Date: 2025-02-06 06:16 am (UTC)Then Spock's bent over him, that perfect arch of a back in reach for Jim to map his hands across. The blue is nearly chased from his eyes as he presses up into that hungry kiss. Ready and willing to pull out every trick and move Jim's got if it's for Spock's pleasure.
That deep voice vibrates against Jim's chest. He's panting for air when Spock begins exploring with his mouth. Bucking his hips desperately with each sharp nip at his throat. Catching at his collar.
"Fuck oh fuck that's good, that's so damn good--" There's no filter on the words tumbling out of Jim's mouth. He can't ever remember being this keyed up in his goddamn life. And here Spock will get his first experience with intercourse where human males are concerned. Not nearly as wet as he would have expected.
And Jim, misinterpreting that curious touch, flails one hand to point to the foot of his bed.
"F..foot locker. S-should be plenty of lube in there, and a whole bunch of toys I can explain how to use later."
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Date: 2025-02-13 05:20 am (UTC)Perhaps it is also the desperation Jim already showcases with each thing Spock does; he has also never felt this wanted before and he desperately, desperately craves more of it.
Spock has at least been somewhat sexually adventurous, though with less overall partners than Jim may have had. He is aware of the usage of and requirement for lubricant with humans for certain aspects, though Vulcans produce enough of their own, generally speaking. Spock considers mentioning so, as he is aware that the preparation for anal sex is similar both between species and sexes, but curiosity about the rest of Jim's comment wins out and he slides just far enough away to get to said foot locker and pop it open, arching an eyebrow slightly as he skates a glance over everything inside before he grabs the bottle of lubricant and returns to his own bed and Jim himself.
He sets the bottle on the bed and slides up Jim's body again to press a kiss to his mouth; as he does he shoves his pants and underwear the rest of the way down his hips and gets them off his legs, leaving them in similar states of undress.
Similar states of hardness too, though their anatomy does have certain differences, namely the fact that Spock's arousal has slipped free of its normal sheathed housing and that said sheath has leaked enough slick that not only is his cock coated, his inner thighs are dripping obscenely.
He has never been this aroused in his life, he realizes, though he does not say as much because he's too busy pinning Jim to the bed with his own body to grind their hips together, giving them both slippery friction that drags a groan from low in his chest.
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Date: 2025-02-13 01:17 pm (UTC)"Yeah, there you go. Wanna see you--"
One thing to read up on Vulcan anatomy out of curiosity months ago. Another to see Spock hard and dripping because of him. Jim won't get the chance to smart off. All that comes out of his parted lips is a shocked moan. His back arches off the bed, eager to meet Spock's hungry roll of his hips
"Y'feel that?" Jim murmurs against his partner's lips. His hips roll up and rock against Spock's so good he has to hiss. "That's all for you. You're the most attractive fucking person I've e-ever met. Want you to rail me into the mattress, want to fuck you on every surface we have in here. In the library, on the simulated bridge--" Cut off by another moan that rips itself from his throat.
"I've wanted you so goddamn bad practically since the day we met and it only got worse when I got to know you, Spock."
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Date: 2025-02-17 06:00 am (UTC)The sound he lets out into Jim's mouth is frankly obscene and he has to take a moment to catch his breath, eyes dark from how blown his pupils are as he looks down at him, processing what Jim said to him. Then his head pops up a little bit like a meerkat or something and he says—
"—If you desire to have sexual intercourse while seated in the Captain's chair, we will be required to find the means and time to do so while we are still cadets as it is unlikely we will be able to do so once we are stationed on a ship. The suggestion of making use of the simulated bridge is prudent." He is already going through some calculations in his head, and his access to areas of the academy—the library is simple, for example.
Each word is throaty despite their matter-of-fact nature and he continues on to nod, kissing him eagerly before he speaks again. "I have never desired anyone as much as I do you, and it has been this way from the moment I realized I did so at all."
Finally, finally, he stops fondling Jim's hand to slide his between them, long fingers curling around both of their cocks at once to stroke them together. "I have dreamed of you when I took time to sleep," he adds, sounding almost thoughtful. "It does not compare to the reality."
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Date: 2025-02-17 11:20 pm (UTC)"Holy shit..." Something feverish and manic alights in his blue eyes. Jim frames Spock's cheeks in his free hand and surges up to press a kiss against his lips. "Fuck yes. We Have to find a way to make that happen now. God that would be so hot--"
His mischievous chuckles trail off into another breathy gasp. His touch drags down Spock's shoulder, his arm. Both arms, once Spock's freed his hand. Jim arches his hips. Too greedy not to try and fuck into the loose fist Spock is making around them both.
"Oh yeah--me too. I couldn't stop thinking of you even when I was...trying to..."
Everyone he'd been with this whole term had been little more than a distraction. A salve to soothe him from not having the man settled over him now. It hadn't worked. Not even a little bit.
"What's your favorite dream of m...me..?" Breathed out around a wicked grin.
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Date: 2025-02-18 12:17 am (UTC)He keeps his hand on them, periodically looking down at the sight and swallowing hard from just how evocative—he needs to focus.
"I am granted access to areas of the campus after hours as my sleep schedule is much shorter than other species and I require more productive time." A beat passes and he shifts the angle of his wrist just enough to let Jim fuck into the grasp of his hand, tipping his head down to murmur into his ear.
"There is a particular one in which we are having sexual intercourse while seated in the Captain's chair." Alright, maybe his tone is a little wry to make up for the fact that he had briefly pretended he was very much planning to do Jim a favor with the setup when he has also had it on his mind and also worded it exactly the same as he did just a moment ago. "However, I have found them all markedly enjoyable. I would find it gratifying to be able to show you them over time."
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Date: 2025-02-18 01:25 am (UTC)"You g-goddamn tease~" Jim can't manage to sound put out the way they're working each other up. "You want that just as bad, huh..." Wants to pretend they're right there on the bridge and going at each other where the whole damn fleet could see them. God it's a tantalizing thought. And the last punches Jim right in the stomach. Leaves him squirming underneath Spock. The implication that this isn't just a one-time thing. That Spock wants to have this...him. For good.
That this could work. Be real.
"Spock--"
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Date: 2025-02-18 04:06 am (UTC)A lot to say, perhaps, but all the same it does not seem as though he is playing it up: unbridled desire, certainly, but he means every word of it.
Jim squirming beneath him gets Spock shifting, kissing along his neck, under his ear, along his jaw, back to his mouth, granting him a kiss and then breathing out his next words against his lips.
"Jim," with a low thrum to his voice, thick and heated, "tell me what you want tonight. We will have opportunity to explore the rest on other occasions."
Because he does want to have Jim for good. For always, for real, for him.
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Date: 2025-02-18 05:21 am (UTC)No one's ever wanted to Stay before.
Jim loves him. Jim's terrified. But in the moment all he knows is that he's burning up for how bad he wants this.
"I want the whole damn campus to know I'm yours after tonight." Jim groans. "Wanna have so many marks I can't take a dermagen to all of them." His hands cling tighter. Belying his nerves as well as his Want. "Fuck me stupid so I can..." Jim almost chokes on the words but manages to get out his desire, "s-so I can curl up and sleep with you after..."
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Date: 2025-02-18 05:52 am (UTC)He loves Jim, though. He loves Jim in ways he has found impossible to excise and while the risk is there, Jim is worth it.
Jim is also, at current, drawing a low, wanting sound out of Spock with words alone. He cannot tell which he wants more, the physical connection of sex or the emotional connection afterward. But he is being granted both and will not waste the opportunity.
Spock nods, free hand roaming to touch Jim wherever he can reach. There is a sense of adoration he does not even try to hide; he does at length shift though, sitting up just enough to gather himself. He does not, as it happens, reach for the bottle of lube. Instead he drags his hand through his dripping slick to coat his fingers so that he can hook his arm under Jim's knee to lift his leg and guide him to the best position for Spock to start to work a finger into him: there is an air of confidence at least to the way he does it, in just how wet he made sure his hand was before even trying.
"Conveniently, I am able to provide both of those requests."
His tone has shifted, a little more rough at the edges, almost ragged with want. Another kiss to his mouth as Spock acclimates him to the sensation with the same care he would exercise had he not been reasonably certain that Jim is going to want more and potentially demand it soon enough.
His teeth catch Jim's lower lip and he gives a gentle tug—gentle at the moment, at least.
"I have dreamed of this as well," is murmured against his mouth. Jim beneath him, Jim practically begging for him. It feels heady.
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Date: 2025-02-18 03:12 pm (UTC)After months of having to watch others get attention that should have been theirs all along.
Jim's pliant beneath Spock. Eager to raise his hips, tip himself back however best suits the other. His smile curls with satisfaction.
"You're so fucking hot." Jim murmurs against Spock's lips. "I hated catching sight of you across campus with those girls. Wondering if you'd had them here, just like this..." As if Spock will feel differently to know Jim is well aware of how he needs to relax. How to rock his hips into Spock's questing touch. The tug draws another soft noise of Want out of Jim.
"Yeah...? Funny...me too."
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Date: 2025-02-22 06:12 am (UTC)"I did not bring any partners to our shared room," he murmurs back, "I was attempting to distract myself from thinking about my desires for you and I would have been even more unsuccessful in that had I been surrounded by reminders of you."
The room, full of Jim's things and memories of their time spent together.
"As such, you are the first person I have been physically intimate with in this bed."
Spock shifts, leaning over Jim and practically bending him in half so that he can finger him open more thoroughly, head turning so he can press slow, open-mouthed kisses along the line of his jaw.
"I was jealous," he admits, fingers curling experimentally on a slightly rougher thrust, "every time I saw you with anyone else. I wanted to be with you, to be who you looked at, who you wanted."
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Date: 2025-02-22 04:44 pm (UTC)"Y-you didn't...?" A budding whine builds in the back of Jim's throat. He twitches untouched. Shudders. "N-neither did I. Couldn't bear the thought of you finding out. Th-thinking I wanted to be with anyone that wasn't you. When it was all just..." Jim trails off as he's bent further and relaxes into it. His back curves graceful as water leaving him spread open indecently. Entirely positioned for Spock's benefit. It's not until that rougher thrust that Jim cries out louder. His leg jerks a little in the crook of Spock's arm.
An open flame of kindling to a dried out bonfire. Fuck but he needs this man.
"Spock, please--Yes--!" Panting, unable to hold still the more worked up he gets. "Fuck but when I knew you liked this too I..." Gasping roughly for a rougher thrust that leaves him crying out for more. "I almost lost my mind I wantyousobad--"
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Date: 2025-02-23 06:06 am (UTC)Every single one of Jim's reactions feels a little bit like a gift, a long-delayed gratification. The sound of his voice, his cries, the way he twitches without so much as a brush of Spock's fingers, are all driving Spock to distraction.
"I was unaware," he manages at length, purposely pressing both fingers deep, then curving them pointedly as he draws them back, "that you thought I was only attracted to females. Had I the option to clarify, perhaps we would have done this sooner." There is no reprimand, just a statement. An observation punctuated by the way Spock presses a kiss to the junction of Jim's shoulder and neck, then bites down with the full intention to leave a lasting mark.
He can hear Jim's voice in every bit of his mind, filling his ears, and he takes a shuddering breath into the skin, only releasing from the bite as he shifts further, urges a kiss to his mouth too, and then manages to mumble against his mouth. "Tell me when you are ready for me," he says, not because he thinks more time is necessary but because he wants to hear the exact words fall from Jim's beautifully pleading mouth.
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Date: 2025-02-23 06:43 pm (UTC)Even when it seems like Jim might be trying to find his words again, they're immediately taken away by the rough kiss and bite at his neck hard enough that he sees stars. And yet--and yet. Spock doesn't degrade him. Doesn't humiliate him. There's none of the unsavory aftertaste to these actions Jim's used to. No, Spock follows it up with a kiss that captures his lips (and whimper) into something soft. Reverent, nearly. Jim's fucked. Ruined forever.
No one's ever, ever made Him tremble before.
"Fuck yes. I am, can be--Hafta be I need you inside me yesterday Spock--" His voice is more breath than volume as they shake through Jim. He cannot offer himself up more obviously than he already is, so Jim sucks at Spock's bottom lip and bites down on it in turn in a hungry nip.
"Give it to me, please..!"
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Date: 2025-02-23 11:32 pm (UTC)And then, for a moment, Spock does not speak. It remains clear he keeps focused, pays attention, that he hears what Jim has to say: he nods jerkily on a groan drawn out by the bite to his lip, kissing him hungrily another moment as he shifts them both, as he rests back slightly on his knees and drags jim closer against him, one leg still over his arm and the other able to stretch out past Spock's body.
There is a brief span of seconds where Spock just looks down at him, something indescribable in his eyes despite how fully blown his pupils are: he is, in fact, exhibiting The Gaze in real time, distracted and flustered by how much he loves Jim Kirk.
Jim is still babbling the entire while though, and Spock manages to shake himself out of it with another nod, taking a ragged breath before carefully positioning himself, keeping them both steady, and carefully rocking his hips forward—slow, but not agonizingly so because he is struggling to keep hold of the thin thread of self-control he has remaining.
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Date: 2025-02-24 12:39 am (UTC)Oh holy fuck.
The man just drug him down an inch or so on the bed like he weighed nothing and now is just looking at Jim like he's the reason the sun comes up in the morning. Jim can't breathe. He can't look away. The leg in the crook of Spock's arm starts trembling again. For just a split second Jim feels heat prick at the corners of his eyes. His voice stutters.
Hitches. Jim's back arches up off the bed as far as he can move when Spock finally moves to seal the deal. He tips his chin back. "That's it--!" His eyes are thrown wide, his voice finally found again. He breathes out a couple shaky chuckles, exultant to finally be here. To get this.
"Oh holy shit. Holy shit Spock--" Jim's hands once more seek any point they can reach. He's dragging his heated touch all over the Vulcan's body. Trying to pull him closer.
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Date: 2025-02-24 01:03 am (UTC)He lets himself drop forward, landing on his forearm to keep from crushing Jim with his weight, and puts himself well within reach as he keeps on with his slow movement, pausing briefly once he bottoms out, giving them both a moment to relax and keep going without cracking immediately—Spock in particular needs to breathe a moment, even himself out, the tight heat of Jim around him overwhelming to say the least.
He murmurs soothingly by Jim's ear, though he does not attempt to shush him. The volume is not an issue, but Spock cannot help but allow himself the affections he has been holding in all this time, has been clawing across shattered glass to keep in his mouth, in his throat, in his chest.
He will do so until Jim no longer exudes such surprise that someone could feel such a way for him. He mouths kisses along the line of Jim's jaw, voice low and throaty. There comes a point where he cannot help but murmur in Golic instinctively, and it is around that point where he gives up on taking a second to breathe and draws his hips back slowly only to snap them forward again so hard that Jim's back slides across the bed slightly, a little closer to the edge of the pillow. His voice chokes mid-word, overwhelmed, and he switches to supporting himself on one hand while the other cradles Jim's jaw so he can keep watching his face as he continues, pace not quite punishing but still hard and fast, a culmination of both eagerness and desiring to, illogically, 'make up for lost time.'
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