smartass_captain | The Academy AU for sensors

The night Sam Kirk walks into the Kirk family farmhouse his little brother throws a fucking beer bottle at his face. He misses. If he'd hit, the next several years might not have happened.

Jim is twenty years old and his life is a fucking mess.

He's no longer in the goddamn hospital every other month, but still in mandatory therapy until he ages out of the system on his 21st birthday. His therapist has worked with him since. Well. Since he got mandated one by the University of Iowa's children's hospital when they brought him home and nursed him back from the brink of being starved to death. Sam isn't here about Tarsus though. He's here because he heard little Jimmy just got out of a stint in county for petty theft.

Why's a guy stealing bread in this day and age? Jim doesn't give him a satisfactory answer. He can't. There isn't one. He'd been better until he'd left his personal device at home for a weekend boke trip. Without his meal schedule Jim can't function. But see, his body doesn't tell him when he's hungry anymore either, so Jim hadn't noticed until it was day three and he started hurting. All sense left him. Next thing he knows he's sitting in a jail cell being watched while he eats the food they gave him because anyone can see Jim Kirk is still too thin. Jim hates it. That look of fucking pity.

He was home and on his fourth beer of the evening when his fucking older brother strides in like he hasn't been gone for the last damn near decade of Jim's life.

"Sober up. I want you to come into town with me tomorrow and take a test." Sam had said. Jim thinks he told his brother to fuck off. He thinks he tried, but he might have stormed off so the other didn't see him break down into tears. He dodges Sam for three days before they bond over noon breakfast talking about when their mom finally found out about and ditched Frank. Sam asks where Winona sent him then, since neither of them believes for a second she stayed Earthside to raise him herself.

Jim lies.

But the lie works. And so he lets Sam drive them into town chattering the whole time about Starfleet. He wants Jim to take an aptitude test. If he passes, well. Dear ol' big brother's gonna whisk him away to San Francisco so they can enlist together. Sam got in, you see. Second attempt, so maybe Jimmy won't be going with him Right away.

"Jim." Jim corrects him. He's toying with the idea of maybe letting Sam talk him into this, but he's not forgetting the last damn near decade so easily. Not forgiving it yet, either. He tells himself he'll take the stupid test to shut his brother up. And hell, maybe he'll even beat his 'big bro' and pass on a first try. He aces it, hangover and all. Sam seems real keen on congratulating himself for giving Jim pointers the last couple days and Jim doesn't argue much.

A change of scenery seems like a decent idea.

All he wants to take fits into a single duffel bag he tosses into the back of Sam's beater of a truck and they make for San Francisco...

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From:

sensors

It is a comfort to Spock as well to have the contact. Touching Kirk's hair is the only way other than fabric to make absolutely sure there is no accidental transference, and this feels more direct somehow, more solid. He has not and does not with anyone else. Just Kirk.

"I ordered a number of things I know we both enjoy so that we can share any combination of dishes." This is spoken as he sets up his own plate and then moves to sit, taking a sip of his tea as he (wisely) waits to take a bite of the food. He also (wisely) attempts to ignore the sound that Kirk just made over a cup of coffee.

"I apologize, my wording was incorrect. I am glad that we are both able to have this meal together, I am aware it is not a matter of you being unwilling. It is true, however, that our schedules have not aligned over the past several weeks."

He does arch an eyebrow slightly when Kirk takes a bite too quickly, his mouth twitching at one corner before he can stop it.

He is more content, he finds, than he has been since that night months ago.

"Perhaps more care should be taken," he says, a little wryly, in the tone he uses when he is making a joke.

From:

smartass_captain

A wiser man would notice that Spock switched to saying 'glad' over 'gratified' along with everything else he amended. Jim is no such man yet. He is also currently more concerned with the most serious of torments: Hungry but Food Too Hot. It's rare for Spock to sit so close to him even when they're sharing a meal. Jim supposes it makes sense though. If they're going to risk spilling, better to do it on just one of their beds.

"Well aside from a metric ass-ton of term finals I've got nothing planned for a while." Which is how Jim likes it this time of year. He doesn't want to deal with holidays. Doesn't want to fucking deal with his birthday. Just let him exist in torpor until after Remembrance Day is over. He taps the side of his coffee cup while he sips at it again, clearly pondering.

"Have we done that one? It means a lot."

From:

sensors

Spock opens his mouth to inquire over what a metric ass-ton is, but then pauses. He tilts his head slightly, also clearly considering something, and then:

"I also do not have plans other than coursework for quite some time." Going back to Vulcan over holiday break is simply not feasible for the amount of studying he intends to do and even his mother does not celebrate Terran Christmas. They observed Hannukah several times when Spock was a child but not further into adulthood. The intent was to teach him a measure of Terran culture and then move on once he had the knowledge. As such, he has no pressing need other than his homesickness to return.

After that though, he blinks, not quite following the thread of thought.

"Done which one?" He thinks it may tie to what he just said, but it may be an esoteric reading of his joke that he is struggling with. Or something else entirely, as has also at times happened.

From:

smartass_captain

The joke had earned him a bit of a pout but little more in the way of a response as Jim had been in the grips of suffering. And while normally? Hearing that Spock and he had schedules lining up for the next month or so would thrill Jim, this particular time of year not so much. Jim doesn't want to see anyone, including Spock or Bones. He just wants to get drunk until he's numb and go stare at a wall for a few weeks.

Which can't happen until the term is over.

"Was explaining my turn of phrase. I was being hyperbolic to dramatically draw attention to the sheer number of papers, projects, and tests I've got coming up in the next two weeks."

For now, a bit of camaraderie and some good food are fuel to get Jim through to the end of said term. He needs the pick-me-up given how low energy he's been for the last week.

From:

sensors

To get an explanation without asking for it aloud, for Kirk to anticipate and attempt to go over it unprompted—a very slight flush rises on Spock's cheeks before he can stop it. "I see. Thank you for the explanation."

And if Spock is listing toward Kirk slightly as they sit, he does not even notice. It is natural, comfortable, and, despite everything, easy.

"Then I too have a 'metric ass-ton' of course work to do in the coming weeks."

From:

smartass_captain

"Trying to keep in mind when I say weird shit." Jim replies with an easy tip of his head Spock's way. He hasn't looked up from his bowl where he's communing with his soup now that he can physically begin to inhale it. Thai isn't even Jim's favorite type of food, but it's a warm meal on a night where he hadn't really paid attention much to the food he automatically put into his face when he needed to before this. And crucially, it reminds him of the first time he drug Spock out across the dorms to treat the other to some genuinely well made vegetarian fare that was more than just basic meals with the meat removed.

He does, however, sputter on a spoonful of curry and have to laugh when Spock repeats the phrasing back to him. His eyes are shining when he peers up. Full of glee and a little mischief.

"Yeah, you've got even more courses than I do. You going to study sessions with your girlfriend or can I steal you away to the library for some support?" He's half joking, but when Spock confesses he isn't seeing anyone else Jim can't help the blossom of warm satisfaction in his chest. Good. Then he can selfishly see more of his room mate while he desperately needs any reason to urge himself out of bed. It's a feeling that's all the more reinforced when Jim wakes Up the next morning and doesn't have to pry himself out of bed with a transporter.

Does he still feel like shit? Kinda?? But Spock is there waiting to go get coffee (and tea) before they part for their first hour classes and Jim knows he'd drag himself over hot coals to not miss out. There's not much seeing the other while Jim juggles flight sims, security practicals, labs, and classes. Save for their one computer science course where Jim all but slumps into the open seat Spock has saved for him and has to chug his coffee with extra shots of espresso to be functional enough to pay attention to the material when he's already this tired.

They stake a claim to what has become their Usual table in the back of the library to work on their written assignments. Spock comes and goes during these after class hours as he has a few evening classes well past when Jim finishes. But he always makes certain to come fetch Jim before the library closes. To herd him off for food and to usher the other to bed before he can stay up All night working on his coding or papers.

It makes Jim prickle a little. Insist he doesn't need to be fussed over. But even as he says it he knows he's grateful for it. That between Spock and Bones making time in Their over busy schedules to ensure he's eaten or slept in Spock's case Jim's actually somewhat functional over the next couple of weeks. Rather than a caffeinated wraith jittering through the halls at three am looking for a lab to commandeer to keep working just that bit longer.

One by one, the presentations, papers, tests get checked off. Removed from Jim's plate. Leaving him room to breathe which he'd hate this time of year. In this case he simply follows Spock or Bones around. Helping them where he can while studying perpetually for whatever's left. The term is a blessed distraction for the looming holidays. One Jim needs. As their last tests wrap up, he feels as much unease as he does relief wandering out of the lecture hall to go and see if Spock has finished his own test...

From:

sensors

It is... A pleasant end to a term. Busy, and near-overwhelming even for Spock, but pleasant. His time spent with Kirk is more and more coveted, and he is glad for each moment together, whether it be studying, eating, or simply taking the split-second flashes of free time to relax.

Spock, at some point, foregoes wearing a shirt entirely once the room is finally at an optimal temperature for his body chemistry. There is no ulterior motive behind it, the only thought being of comfort. He never quite strips down to his underwear as Kirk does, but he is, clearly, extremely comfortable around his roommate.

Today though, just after their last assignments and exams, Spock is fully dressed in his normal robes as he sits at his desk because he is on a call with his mother.

His mother, who is lecturing him about how he has yet to approach Kirk about his feelings.

"I see that you have been speaking with T'Pring," he notes tiredly after she asks if he has done so yet, "I have not informed him. We have both been busy and there is no point. He has not responded with marked romantic interest to my current level of attention as far as I am aware, and I hold little faith that saying so plainly would alter that behavior. Our social interactions will remain as they have been."

You need to tell him, Spock. She says it in the tone she takes when she is parsing Spock being an idiot gently. If you don't tell him, you'll regret it later.

"I will, as is colloquially noted, 'get over it.'" And he means that, he does, until she continues.

Every time you talk about that boy you look exactly like your father did when he was courting me.

For one of the very rare times in his life, Spock stutters. "I—Mother, I do not wish to hear about my father's expressions during that time." But she said he looks like Sarek. Like his fully Vulcan father, not like some lovestruck human, not like he is not Vulcan enough due to his feelings. He inhales. It shakes once before he evens it out. "However, I will take your advice under consideration."

Good, she says, because if you don't tell Cadet Kirk anything, T'Pring said she was going to do it for you.

That point is about where Spock hears the door open and he tenses visibly because he's been caught out, he has to figure something out—

—Kirk is leaving and in a hurry, but not because he is upset with Spock. He seems to be upset with his brother, which Spock is confused about for a moment.

Samuel Kirk.

Kirk.

Kirk thinks that Spock is in love with his brother.

Even though the mere thought makes Spock's stomach lurch unpleasantly, he takes a breath and turns to his mother. "I will contact you later," he says, then terminates the call and rushes out of the room.

He hopes, foolishly, that he will catch up to Kirk before Kirk reaches his brother. He knows it is unlikely, but he holds the irrational thought in his head nonetheless.

From:

smartass_captain

Honestly Jim is starting to think he needs to tell Spock to send him a message when he's having terminal calls. It hasn't happened Often, is the thing. But Spock gets so focused on them that he doesn't pay attention to Jim coming in. And honestly, despite Jim not trying to Stealth his way into his dormitory he's overheard a Lot he wasn't supposed to on these calls over the year. So he's about to alert himself and apologize, except he's stunned silent.

That boy??? Spock had said he wasn't seeing anyone. It was because he was crushing on some Guy??? Meaning Spock is fine with guys. Meaning Jim Kirk has a chance but he's now on a time crunch. He's reeling from that alone. Trying to process just how he's going to make this work when NOTHING he's tried up until now has gotten any kind of a reaction out of Spock.

We're friends, he'd very clearly told Jim. And Jim believes him. But Just Friends isn't exactly what Jim has been aiming for at any point since they got to know each other. Who does he have to edge out? When his mother mentions Kirk Jim swears he forgets how to breathe for a second. How? When??

No fucking WONDER Spock always looks so put out. All this time? Jim works his jaw, his fists clenching at his sides.

"You just can't let me have fucking ANYTHING can you, Sam? No, it'll never work. Nooo, don't get your hopes up. Just so you could string him along all this fucking time..." He's seething the whole way up to the third floor. This is bullshit. Sam just can't be happy for him ever can he? Jim outscores him on a test, Sam's pissy. Jim decides to take harder classes? Sam't pissy. Jim crushes on his room mate? Oh nooo, Sam is pulling some fucking gaslighting bullshit stringing Spock along so Jim can't talk to him????

NO, that's where Jim Kirk draws a fucking line.

He's not kicking in his brother's door but only out of respect to his brother's room mate. He bangs on it loud enough he can tell he's startled some of Sam's neighbors. The second it swishes open JIm is storming into his brother's face.

"You son of a bitch! This whole time?! This whole time you KNEW and you just had to fucking make sure I couldn't have anything nice didn't you? Do you even know he's in love with you???"

Sam, understandably, is very confused by this. His chest hurts where Jim is prodding his sternum and his brother is crowding into his space until he's practically against his own desk.

"Jim are you fucking high or something? What are you talking about??!"

"Don't fucking play dumb with me Sam! That's why you didn't want me talking to Spock, isn't it?!" His voice shakes a little at the end so incensed is he.

From:

sensors

Several thought processes work at once while Spock hurries after Kirk up to the third floor.

Kirk thinks Spock is in love with his elder brother. Kirk is angry about this not at Spock, but at said brother. Kirk is so incensed that Spock believes there is a possibility for violence.

Why?

He skids to a stop in the corridor outside Sam Kirk's dormitory, eyes very slightly wide from what he has heard of Kirk's tirade.

It almost sounds as though Kirk himself—

—Spock realizes, all at once, what a fool he has been all this time and takes a step into the room to attempt stopping things, to take Kirk aside and explain.

However, Samuel Kirk has the impeccable timing of opening his mouth just then.

From:

smartass_captain

"Whoa whoa, okay calm down Jim. Jimmy come on. I don't know what rumors you're hearing--"

Don't you fucking "Jimmy" me I'm not a goddamned kid anymore." He's in Sam's space, hissing every word and shaking with barely contained rage. Sam honestly? Is a little afraid whatever rumor is going around is going to make his baby brother actually try to swing at him so he's operating in survival mode. The same thing that always worked when they'd get into fights as kids.

"Jim. I promise, whatever you've heard isn't true. Have I ever dated another guy? No! And I wouldn't do that to you, especially not with your room mate." The fact Jim thinks he'd fuck that walking toaster is insulting really but he's heard of people spiking Jim's drinks before. If his little brother went and got himself so fucked up he thinks Sam's got as shit taste as he does, he can smooth this over and Jim will owe him.

And it sorta works? For a second or two Jim just glares at him. Then his gaze flickers and he takes half a step back. Ready to hear Sam out if nothing else. Even if he doesn't believe it. Which is when the Vulcan decides to waltz into Sam's room.

"What, because you respect me so much?" Jim says, disbelief dripping from his words. Sam looks over Jim's shoulder and he can't help it. He barks out a short laugh at the absurdity of the whole thing.

"No! Because even if I magically woke up one day with your feral urge to sock cock, Jim, there is no way in hell I'd look at That--" Nodding over Jim's shoulder to where Spock is standing in His room like the Vulcan belongs anywhere near here. "And think, yeah. That's what I'm into."

"...That?" Jim doesn't get it at first. What, Vulcan physiology that much different than a human's? Sam's a xenoanthropology and biology specialist and he can't talk anatomy??? But he noticed the way Sam nodded. He looks over his shoulder. Spock is here. He wasn't talking to Jim. He was talking to Spock. About Spock. Like he wasn't even a Person.

You know, the guy Crushing on Sam Kirk. Even in some crazy universe that Sam didn't know before, he does NOW. And he still said that to Spock?? Jim calmly turns back around. Looks up at Sam. And the second Sam Kirk opens his mouth to say something else Jim rears back and decks him so hard he stumbles against his desk and topples into a heap on the floor.

"If I ever catch you near Spock again you're going to get a lot more than a fat lip." Jim grits out through clenched teeth.

From:

sensors

Spock is about to say something when the elder Kirk treats him like a thing. Calls him that. Right to his face.

And then Kirk is looking at him and Spock wants nothing more than to—

Than to—

—Kirk's fist connects with his brother's face and Spock's eyes widen. He barely hears what Kirk says afterward but it does not matter: Spock says nothing, but he does grip Kirk's sleeve and yank him out of the room. He maintains this facade of calm and quiet until he gets them both into the stairwell. He intends to get them back to their dormitory before he does anything rash but at the first landing they reach he gives in and presses Kirk against the wall, the hand on his sleeve shifting to grab his hand and pin it too.

He looks at him, eyes still wide, and then kisses him. Hard, a little aggressive, but at the same time almost fervent. When he pulls back it is only briefly and only enough to speak against his mouth. "Jim," he says, the name thick on his tongue without any qualifiers, "while that was incredibly attractive, I have much better taste than to be interested in your brother in the first place."

And then, as though to punctuate the statement, he kisses him again.

Edited Date: 2025-02-05 10:40 pm (UTC)

From:

smartass_captain

Jim stumbles back into Spock's personal space at the yank. His eyes are still on Sam Kirk, stunned and on the floor of his dorm gaping up at Jim as though he can't believe this just happened. Then they're out of the dorm and Jim has to face the music. Has to apologize to Spock that he hit the guy Spock's in love with and how he's sorry his brother's such an Asshole.

"Spock, Spock listen to me. I couldn't...I had to do it." Down the stairs. Every clomp of their boots feels twenty decibels louder than it should because Jim's afraid he's ruined his friendship. Only Spock turns, his gaze wild. Jim doesn't even get a chance to ask 'What?' before he's pinned to the wall. A cooler hand wrapping around all of Jim's fingers on his left hand and pinning it to the wall next to his head.

A mouth on his own. Pressing so hard Jim can feel the imprint of his own teeth on the soft inside of his lips. And it's everything he's wanted but also what is happening right now???

Jim.

His name in that timbre. Oh, fuck yes. That's the good shit.

"Y-yeah?" He's sucking in air. Is this actually happening right now? Oh, he wants to say. His mouth is open even. Only to be swallowed up by hungry lips once more. This time Jim leaves his lips parted. Invites Spock to explore his mouth with just the barest teasing flits of his tongue. Does he give a single fuck if they're in the stairwell of the dormitories? No he does not. He'd get on his knees right here if Spock wanted him to. What anyone else sees is their problem.

Only when Spock pulls back again does Jim let out a breathless chuckle, heavy with his own desire.

"F...friends, huh?"

From:

sensors

Spock does not hear any of Kirk's—Jim's—attempted explanations on the stairs. He is too busy replaying the image of him striking Samuel Kirk for what he had said about Spock. For Spock's benefit.

At some point in the kiss, Spock ends up tangling their fingers obscenely there against the wall; it is fortunate that Spock is the only Vulcan currently on the campus. He is not thinking about that, however. He is far too busy with the moment, with tasting Jim's mouth, with pressing their bodies together tightly.

Only when he draws back for a breath and Jim speaks again does Spock have the grace to fluster somewhat, clearing his throat and reluctantly taking a half-step back, though the hand that had found its place at Jim's waist remains there.

"I did not indicate whether I was using the Terran or Vulcan definition," Spock explains, "and they are very different."

From:

smartass_captain

Jim's got no idea why how the man holds his hand is weird in any way. Way Jim figures, it's just more comfortable to Spock that way, even if it presses his knuckles roughly against the wall. Jim couldn't care less. Not when he's taking in the heady kiss and soft sounds bubbling up between them.

Spock's pressed flush up against Jim, utterly pinning him to the wall. Jim can't help to be a little bit cheeky and rocks his hips up into Spock's own. Hisses triumphantly for the friction. Ah--too far. Spock pulls away. Jim whines a little in the back of his throat but doesn't chase him.

"They are?" Panting slightly. "You. Wanna head back to our room and maybe elucidate on th'differences?"

From:

sensors

It technically is the rolling of Jim's hips and the friction between them that urge Spock to shift. However, it is simply because if Spock does not pause now, they are not leaving this stairwell for the entirety of winter break.

Spock looks at Jim as he is, panting and eager, and nods sharply. He presses another hungry kiss to his mouth before finally drawing back properly, his grip on Jim's hand gentling at least for the rest of the trek downstairs to their floor and then through the corridor to their shared room.

They at least do not pass many people along the way, though there are a small number of them. However, Spock is single-minded, opening their door and ushering them both inside before letting it close behind them and tapping the lock.

From:

smartass_captain

Yeah Jim would really appreciate some spinal support. Plus Spock would get cold! They can't have that. Better for all parties, especially cadets just trying to get to or from their rooms that these two trot downstairs looking quite intent on their destination.

Better they don't start their break getting written up for public indecency.

"Can't believe..." Jim still doesn't quite understand how they've ended up here like this. He's sputtering as Spock doesn't even turn to hit the lock. But this is a lot, it's fast, right? What do normal people do?? He blinks rapidly a couple times, really just trying to think with any part of him Not his dick for half a second. The grabbing of his hand comes to mind first. Spock's still holding onto his left, so Jim takes a step forward so he can lift it up between them.

He slips his eyes shut and kisses gently over the back of Spock's knuckles. Chaste, romantic--Jim hopes. Then peers up at the other.

"Hey~"

From:

sensors

By the time they reach the room, Spock feels as though he has regained himself enough to have a proper conversation. He does!

Or, well, he does until Jim Kirk presses a kiss to his hand and Spock chokes on a breath, his eyes widening again. He tries to tell himself (over and over) that Terrans, humans especially, do not see hands the same way Vulcans do.

It does not help.

By the time Jim's eyes flutter open Spock is staring at him openly, his face flushed green all the way to the tips of his ears. His knuckles are still tingling and a warmth is coiling in his stomach.

Spock has never in his life been this flustered, much less so in front of Jim. But he clearly is, and in a positive way.

He clears his throat, trying to regain his composure. "Please elucidate on what you are struggling to believe."

Does that sound normal?

From:

smartass_captain

Yeah Jim's got no damn clue that what he's doing is Very Much not chaste and romantic and suave like he thinks it is. That this is probably extremely intimate even if it's the back of the hand like this. What he does know is that Spock is blushing furiously when Jim peers up at him. He can't help his triumphant little grin to see it either. That's a stroke to the ego Jim didn't even know he needed right now.

"How long?" Jim asks, his smile widening when Spock fights to clear his throat. A beat, and if Spock doesn't look like he knows how to answer Jim will add,

"How long has it been me?"

From:

sensors

Well, it is certainly a type of romantic. One Spock definitely enjoys, though he should likely explain the difference later.

However, the question gets Spock's more usual head tilt as he considers, and then:

"Twelve weeks, five days," with a pause to look at the clock, "sixteen hours and forty-nine minutes."

Which, for someone keeping track, like Spock, is about when Jim first managed to get Spock to go on a sort-of-maybe-kind-of-date to a Thai restaurant. The same one Spock brought food from when Jim was feeling low.

From:

smartass_captain

"Twelve and a half weeks?!" Incredulous. Also, if he's rounding it ought to be closer to thirteen but semantics. That's practically the beginning of the term though! Before all the girls (blonde, blue eyed), before all the trouble Jim got into. Before Mitchell for damn certain. All that time?

"Spock I..." Jim squeezes their joined hands tighter. "I had no goddamn idea. I tried to get your attention for the entire first part of the term." Another half step closer so he's in the other's space again. "I wouldn't have looked anywhere else if I'd known--"

And suddenly Jim surges forward to wrap his free arm around Spock's broad shoulders. Jim presses a hungry kiss onto the other's lips again. Nips the man's bottom lip when he pulls away just enough to breathe, "Could have had this...so fucking long ago..."

From:

sensors

Spock meets Jim's step closer with one of his own, leaving them practically toe to toe as he watches his face, searching his expression while he listens to what he has to say.

"I was not aware. When I had arrived on Earth it was just after—"

When Jim kisses him, Spock presses into it eagerly, open and hungry and wanting. The catch of Jim's blunted teeth manages to steal a quiet, wanting sound out of him, and then he breathes quietly, taking everything in. "I was not prepared for the depth of emotion I began to feel for you, and as the dissolution of my engagement was mere weeks before the start of term, I did not see myself as desirable."

Spock initiates another kiss, lingering, his free hand dropping to Jim's hip.

"I was unable to ascertain how someone as attractive, intelligent, and kind as you could be attracted to me."

From:

smartass_captain

"As me. You're--Spock have you looked in a mirror?" Jim's free hand pulls back to grip one of Spock's shoulders hard and shakes him by it just a little. "You're sex on legs, I've never met anyone smarter than you in my life. You're funny and kind and--" He's sputtering a little.

"And I'm--" His voice wobbles then because Spock is calling Jim a whole lot of things he doesn't feel like he's earned.

It's for the best Spock cuts him off with another kiss. This one not as deep, but a testing of the waters. Lingering. Mapping out the shape of Jim's full lips with his own.

"....I want to have sex with you really bad right now....i-is the thing." Jim groans softly between them. "Wanna swallow you down, have you fuck my mouth...or ride you until you d-don't even know your name anymore...!" His fingers fist in the fabric of Spock's shirt. "And I know that's too f-fast, too much but...!"

From:

sensors

"I do not understand the metaphor 'sex on legs.'" Spock is aware his curiosity is not helping anything, but he has to make that part known first.

After, when Jim is breathing words between them, Spock swallows. Normally he might have several questions, but he is able to glean meaning well enough from context that he simply inhales a little sharply and blinks both sets of eyelids before looking at him, hand lifting to close atop Jim's in his shirt.

He nudges their foreheads together gently; there is transference but it is steady and grounding. This is the most Spock has touched anyone other than regular contact with his mother as a child, and well, with T'Pring while they were still betrothed.

"We have established that we both have long-term affection and desire for one another," he begins reasonably, "and should you desire to wait, I will not push you. I have lived with you in this room for months with you almost entirely undressed at all times and have, as I have heard it colloquially put, 'survived.' I will not cease to do so should you want to progress more slowly. However, I will also note that my opinion of you will not change regardless of the speed or lack thereof and I hope yours of me would not either."

A beat passes.

"To clarify, I have desired to have sexual intercourse with you for some time now and continue to desire to."

From:

smartass_captain

Jim feels his breath lodge in his throat. This is more than he deserves, more than he's worth. If this were just some stupid fling, Jim wouldn't care so goddamn much. Sex is sex, or so he thought. But it's not some fling with Spock. He's very much obsessed with the guy and has to live with him when this is all over. There is no sneaking out of the room when they're done and heading back to his room. There is no avoid a morning-after talk.

If Jim does this, it's going to Matter. The thought terrifies him. He's gonna fuck it up like he fucks Everything up.

But Spock's there, urging them together until their foreheads bump so gently and rest just so. It makes him feel better. Better able to breathe. So Jim listens. And then his breath leaks out of him in a desperate, needy rush at the last.

"I'll explain anything you want after if you touch me like you've wanted to right fucking now."

From:

sensors

It is certainly not some fling with Spock. For Spock, it is also not some fling with Jim. Spock has found is very bad at flings and did not desire one with Jim in the first place.

He is patient as Jim processes, as he comes to his decision.

His lips curve up slightly at the corners. Just a little. "I believe you will."

Then he unceremoniously picks Jim directly off the floor, hoists him over his shoulder, carts him over to one of the beds, and practically tosses him onto it. "You are overdressed."

A pointed statement as Spock starts to remove his own layers, still standing so as to get the robes off properly.