smartass_captain | The Academy AU for sensors

The night Sam Kirk walks into the Kirk family farmhouse his little brother throws a fucking beer bottle at his face. He misses. If he'd hit, the next several years might not have happened.

Jim is twenty years old and his life is a fucking mess.

He's no longer in the goddamn hospital every other month, but still in mandatory therapy until he ages out of the system on his 21st birthday. His therapist has worked with him since. Well. Since he got mandated one by the University of Iowa's children's hospital when they brought him home and nursed him back from the brink of being starved to death. Sam isn't here about Tarsus though. He's here because he heard little Jimmy just got out of a stint in county for petty theft.

Why's a guy stealing bread in this day and age? Jim doesn't give him a satisfactory answer. He can't. There isn't one. He'd been better until he'd left his personal device at home for a weekend boke trip. Without his meal schedule Jim can't function. But see, his body doesn't tell him when he's hungry anymore either, so Jim hadn't noticed until it was day three and he started hurting. All sense left him. Next thing he knows he's sitting in a jail cell being watched while he eats the food they gave him because anyone can see Jim Kirk is still too thin. Jim hates it. That look of fucking pity.

He was home and on his fourth beer of the evening when his fucking older brother strides in like he hasn't been gone for the last damn near decade of Jim's life.

"Sober up. I want you to come into town with me tomorrow and take a test." Sam had said. Jim thinks he told his brother to fuck off. He thinks he tried, but he might have stormed off so the other didn't see him break down into tears. He dodges Sam for three days before they bond over noon breakfast talking about when their mom finally found out about and ditched Frank. Sam asks where Winona sent him then, since neither of them believes for a second she stayed Earthside to raise him herself.

Jim lies.

But the lie works. And so he lets Sam drive them into town chattering the whole time about Starfleet. He wants Jim to take an aptitude test. If he passes, well. Dear ol' big brother's gonna whisk him away to San Francisco so they can enlist together. Sam got in, you see. Second attempt, so maybe Jimmy won't be going with him Right away.

"Jim." Jim corrects him. He's toying with the idea of maybe letting Sam talk him into this, but he's not forgetting the last damn near decade so easily. Not forgiving it yet, either. He tells himself he'll take the stupid test to shut his brother up. And hell, maybe he'll even beat his 'big bro' and pass on a first try. He aces it, hangover and all. Sam seems real keen on congratulating himself for giving Jim pointers the last couple days and Jim doesn't argue much.

A change of scenery seems like a decent idea.

All he wants to take fits into a single duffel bag he tosses into the back of Sam's beater of a truck and they make for San Francisco...

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only | Expand All

From:

sensors

"He was correct in stating so." Dry.

Normally, Spock might have some kind of pithy comment in response to the Not A Question. However, he is stung and raw enough that he simply puts his coat on. The gloves give him longer pause—sharing gloves is an extremely, hopelessly intimate gesture for Vulcans, all things considered. He is aware that is not the case with Terrans, but it still leaves him overwhelmed in a different way than he had already just been.

Spock puts the gloves on.

"No. However, Vulcans in an overwhelming majority deal with being inebriated very differently. And while I have witnessed intoxication in humans since my arrival on Earth, I have not had to closely interact with the concept previously." So: Yes and no.

From:

smartass_captain

"That oughta make you feel a little better Physically." The doctor has his own hands tucked into his pockets. It's cool out, but nowhere near Cold yet. Cooler than Leonard would like as a Southern boy but he'll manage.

After Spock explains, Leonard lets that linger in the air for a good solid minute. Just lets Spock take in the fact that he's not alone out here. That Leonard is clearly not here to take Jim's side or something. "Alright, first things first. He doesn't Actually hate you. Either of us." Bones starts. He's looking out across the gardens rather than up at the stars or at Spock.

"Ain't gonna make excuses for the kid. He was outta line. But he doesn't hate you, and if he'd actually managed to hit either one of us I think he'd have never forgiven himself. Don't rightly know what's gotten into him since last I heard you two had one hell of a day yesterday. But I've got an idea."

From:

sensors

"Thank you." Just that for a long moment, quiet. He looks over at McCoy as he speaks, brow slightly knit. The explanation both helps and makes him feel more lost over the entire exchange.

"I am still unused to the ease with which humans say things that they do not mean." This is not to say that Spock has never lied: he will not admit it, but he has. Through omission, mostly. However, it was never like this.

Spock is about to note that they did indeed have 'one hell of a day yesterday, but his wounded curiosity after the man states he has an idea of the problem gives him pause; he tilts his head slightly.

"Please elaborate on your theory."

From:

smartass_captain

"I'll be the first to admit 'family's a loaded word for anyone, but I'd be willing to bet Jim went ant told his brother about his plans for the classwork and he wasn't too pleased. Swear every time Jim tries to impress the man he just looks more and more like he sucked on a lemon."

The doctor levels out a long, frustrated sigh.

"The only other time Jim's let himself go anywhere near that bad before was when some big shot admiral showed up to check in on George Kirk's kids. Those two didn't speak to each other for two weeks after. Just don't seem like a good relationship."

It's not he whole truth, but then, Leonard can't know what that even is.

From:

sensors

Spock listens to everything that Doctor McCoy has to say without interruption. He briefly looks as though he will ask a question about the relevance of citrus fruits to one's expression, but he ends up not doing so. Instead, he sits slightly less rail-straight next to him and looks out across the garden they are in before he says anything at all.

"I am familiar," he finally says, "with that type of mandated delicacy." He does not indicate if he means it with family or otherwise, nor does he indicate if it involves himself or if so, he actually shows any measurable restraint of his normal flat delivery.

At length, he speaks again. "I have not changed my opinion of Jim Kirk as a whole." A beat, and he adds: "However, I am—" He pauses, attempting to find the correct word for it. Angry does not exactly suit. Nor does disappointed, though it is tempting to say as much. "Somewhat vexed."

From:

smartass_captain

"He didn't manage to poison himself but it's not great. Not sure how much of the night he's even going to remember." Leonard does break gaze with the garden then to see how Spock's doing. Impossible to tell, save for maybe he doesn't look quite so much like he's been propped up like a lawn ornament to sit on that bench. Maybe that's a good thing, maybe it ain't.

Jim was the one who could read the other's mood.

"As for the ugly feelings, you and me both. He's never gotten mean with me before. Assuming it's the same for you." Bones is pissed. It's the thing. But he's also worried Jim's in for the same spiral he himself is in the process of climbing out of. Leonard can see it but he's got no damn idea how to stop it from happening.

"No advice there. Gonna take all my willpower not to kick his ass myself when he's upright again."

From:

sensors

To Spock, the concept of forgetting an entire night is something unfathomable. He perfectly recalls everything from nearly his entire life, and now to have the memory of the past night burning in his head forever, and for Kirk to not even remember what he said—

—Spock does not make comment on that. He also does not make comment on the doctor calling their responses ugly feelings. "He has not." That much he can and will confirm. "He has been nothing but kind, accommodating, and helpful since our introduction."

And that is what Spock remembers the most, and will continue to remember. He hopes.

He also, of course, does not know how to stop Kirk's spiral from continuing.

"I do not like George Samuel Kirk." Flat. He has tolerated him up until this point, but if his behavior is why Kirk is in this state, his patience has reached its limit.

However, Samuel Kirk is not here. Doctor McCoy is.

"I thank you for taking the time to speak with me. It is appreciated. I am aware that we do not always agree, but you have always had my respect."

From:

smartass_captain

"Yeah? Well. Seems like we agree on the most important bits."

That despite the last few hours Jim is worth the effort to look after. That his brother? Kind of a tool. Maybe he'll get more details about the family out of Jim if he plays his cards right. Get some insight on what the situation is. How he can deal with it moving forward.

Maybe Spock too, if he bounces back from this. Leonard isn't counting on it, but neither is he writing the man off. Their fallout remains to be seen given they have to live with each other after this. Bones figures Jim better not be shocked if the man doesn't want to be hit on after tonight.

"Well. I'm gonna put in for an absence and make sure our cornfed idiot recovers alright. You heading back yet?"

From:

sensors

Spock does not wish to lose the valued companionship of Jim Kirk. He will attempt as best he can to maintain it, but the results also depend on Kirk's responses. Time will tell.

At the question Spock nods, standing and beginning to remove the borrowed gloves to return them to McCoy.

"Yes," he says, "I will be returning. As Vulcans require less rest than humans, I will be able to maintain my schedule." A beat passes. "However, I will be available for contact should it become necessary." That, he thinks, is sufficient.

So soon as the conversation concludes and they get back to the dormitories, Spock will excuse himself and begin to prepare for his normal schedule.

If he is going to do anything but dwell on the previous night's events, he must keep himself occupied.

From:

smartass_captain

By the time Spock gets back from his classes the next day there's an automatic kettle and a tin of spiced green tea waiting for him, along with a note from Jim, in case Spock got back before he did. When Jim comes back its with snacks for both of them. He doesn't shy away from apologizing. He doesn't remember the details of the night before but luckily Bones gave him a play by play so he knows exactly how much of a fuck-up he was. There's something strained in Jim's smile he offers Spock when he promises it won't happen again.

Jim will make sure nothing happens again. He's gotta get over his crush/fixation on his room mate to keep that promise though. So that it doesn't hurt so bad even if he has another breakdown. Spock won't be one of the people he tries to push away. Jim never gets drug in for reprimand over the incident and his and Spock's papers go through. They wish each other luck from opposite ends of the room when they settle in to take their tests and then...

Suddenly Academy life becomes much, Much busier. Jim gets swept up in a myriad of regulations, tactics, and diplomacy classes on top of his generals. Spock is taking more classes than Jim knew could fit in 24 hours. The only class they share is a computer science class now. Jim's grateful to have it. It's one link left between them now that their first year introductory classes are cast aside.

It takes some adjusting to.

Jim spends his afternoons in the library (and sometimes his evenings when he can sneak into a storage room to avoid closing hours to get some more work done). They spend their nights often working well past midnight at their respective desks. Occasionally Jim asks Spock to check over his work. He meets a second year trawling around the library working on her labs during the same hours Jim frequents and they get to talking.

Jim almost turns her down when she gives him her frequency before he remembers. Spock is engaged. He's off the table. If Jim wants to get past that? He needs to actually get past it. Make some friends of his own. On his own terms. He invites her out to the bar after her evening lab. They meet a few times, he teaches her dom-jot (like he wanted to teach Spock...), he makes sure to show up in his riding leathers that are tight in All the right places after a couple nights.

Doesn't make it back to his dorm that night. Though he does belatedly message Spock as he's leaving her room in the early morning hours that he is Not in fact dead and had been on a date. Sure, it only arrives an hour before Jim turns up at 4am to take a shower and crash, but an attempt was made. She's not too pleased with him sneaking out and that's the end of it.

But for Jim?

It's like remembering how to be himself. He's not put out. Why would he be? All he was looking for was a wild night. Anything to get the image of his room mate out of his goddamn head for more than a minute at a time. Very quickly Jim stops hitting on women altogether. Even when it's good it's not what he's after. Bones fusses after him, but Jim makes sure there's always time for his best friend even when Jim has to cut corners on his sleep to make it.

That he makes an Effort to grab meals with Spock once in a while yet. Or a game of chess. Jim couldn't quit the man cold turkey and wouldn't want to. He tells himself it's just to maintain a friendship but truth be told he can't help how smitten he still looks every time they're together. How his whole damn week is better just because they got to spend an hour or two just hanging out.

Before diving back into the grind.

Jim continues to flit between social circles. A butterfly getting to know a little bit of everyone on campus. Spock, apparently, either doesn't hold his marriage in sanctity or isn't as engaged as Jim thought because he certainly seems to be involved with some lucky lady on the side. Jim tells himself he's happy for the other. Some days he even convinces himself he means it.

When one of them has a bad day, the other's there to pick up food. A favorite drink. And pull up the kal-toh set or the chess set to improve the overall mood. Jim ends up getting his drink spiked at a party? Spock spends the weekend helping him get through his assignments so he doesn't fall behind in his classes while Leonard makes sure he's okay. Spock gets dumped by the cute blonde in his xenobiology lab? Jim stays up half the night showing Spock different simulated strategy games they can slow-play in between their classes for something to do.

They orbit the other's life but never quite meet. Jim tells himself they've settled into something good. Even if there's an ache he can't get rid of.

Toward the end of the year he ends up spending a lot of time with a pair of guys a couple years his senior from one of his diplomacy classes. Gary Mitchell and Lee Kelso have always been on the fringes of the groups Jim frequents and Gary in particular is competitive enough that Jim can't help but take notice. And that's a thrill he's been missing, is the thing. Having someone to butt up against, debate with, compete with. They argue until one of them loses voice. They laugh so hard together they're crying. And the night Gary Mitchell grabs Jim by the back of his neck and kisses him senseless, Jim finds out they're no less competitive between the sheets. When it's good it's great; it's a race with the wind in his hair and a challenge that isn't just his course load. But when it's bad it's awful; Jim's never seen a man so jealous of anyone Jim so much as looks at. Who has to remind Jim every step of the way how lucky he is to be in Gary's orbit. Who takes too much pleasure in getting Jim on his knees after they've had an argument and making sure he's so sore he can barely walk the next morning.

Bones tells Jim to break it off. Jim tells him it's fine. Sam tells him about the rumors going around and how could JIm maybe try to be less of a whore if it's going to get Him drug into the rumor mill? Jim tells him he's full of it. That he's been dating Mitchell for over a month now. Only. Only.

Only Jim was the only one apparently who thought they were exclusive. And all those really distasteful rumors about Jim? They came from Mitchell. Well. Lesson learned. Jim tells Gary it's not working the next morning. Doesn't make a scene. Doesn't block his number or anything. He just leaves. Heads back to his dorm. Makes sure it's not In Use by Spock and whoever he's dating these days. And for the first time in months, Jim just. Stops going out.

Spends his evenings in the dorm, often in bed. Lot of time staring at the ceiling wondering what the fuck is wrong with him. He'd really tried to make this one work. Be a real boyfriend, whole nine yards. He'd thought....he was doing it all right.

Guess that just reinforces the idea that Jim's only good for a quick bit of fun. That getting to know him for Real? No one wants that.

From:

sensors

While the gifts are appreciated and Spock accepts them, he assures Kirk that no lasting harm has been caused and means it. The timing of their mutually increased workload is fortuitous for Kirk's designs; had Kirk begun to purposely spend less time with Spock without the sudden, severe increase, Spock might have realized it was about him and his stubbornness would have driven him to confront his fellow cadet in an attempt at remedying whatever misstep Spock had taken.

So. Fortuitous for Kirk's plan, not so for either of them not being remarkably stupid.

And Spock forces himself to not be disappointed that they are spending less time together. They have far fewer classes together now and it makes sense they would need to focus on their own tracks.

He also tells himself that it does not sting deep in his side when after an evening and night of wondering if he and Doctor McCoy would need to go find Kirk, he simply receives a message letting him know that his roommate was on a date. It is not Spock's place to be upset about that, or jealous, or any myriad other emotions that he meditates upon to compartmentalize and move past.

Spock had never told Kirk how he felt beyond the lengths he had gone to in order to aid his academic career and push him forward, and it is clear now he is either truly uninterested or Spock should not have waited to clarify. He is simply not human enough to know how to court one, it would seem.

He buries himself into his courses until T'Pring notes that should he refrain from any manner of socializing, he will lack ties later when it comes to crew assignments. What she means is he should approach Kirk. Spock knows this. What he does is accept an evening's invitation with one of his classmates from science track, a pretty blond with striking blue eyes.

He does not purposely note the resemblance.

It is not Spock who ends his first foray into a relationship with a human: she is not looking for as deep of a connection as someone like Spock desires and decides she is better off looking for something a little lighter.

He also does not end the second, but this is because he cancels with her one too many times in favor of spending time with Kirk even if simply to discuss their academic work.

After that, he never sticks with one girl for long, but the gaps between also drag because he keeps telling himself that he really is looking for The One when he knows he already knows who that is. Was. Would have been.

Kirk switching to seeing men is not entirely surprising, though it does give Spock a bitter moment of could have been me before he is able to move on. Again, T'Pring tells him to get over himself and say something. She does not use those words, but it is what she means.

Spock finds, later, that he does not care for Gary Mitchell. There is something about him that Spock finds distasteful, and he cannot help the near-glare that he passes over him every time he sees him. The near-glare that Spock always gets away with due to people presuming he is already always glaring in the first place.

It is three and a half weeks into Kirk's ill-advised relationship (because that is what Kirk is doing, Spock has noted, an attempt at settling down, at sticking with one person, and were it almost anyone else Spock might be able to convince himself to be happy for him) with Gary Mitchell that he hears the human speaking about Kirk without Kirk present and for the first time in a very long time, he struggles to control himself.

Or, well, struggles to do so until after Kirk has already broken things off and Mitchell continues his rumor campaign: Spock catches Mitchell alone between classes, slams him against the wall, and punches him directly in the face. He then wordlessly wipes the red on his knuckles off on Mitchell's uniform coat, stares at him a moment longer, and leaves.

It was not a struggle, then. He willingly and happily let himself go.

Some new 'rumors' start to fly after that, of course, about the Vulcan student's apparent penchant for violence. But Spock? Spock has never been anything but polite, he has never stepped so much as a toe out of line, he would never resort to physical violence. And though it gets chattered about, it is with a measure of disbelief. Which puts what Mitchell had said about Kirk into question as well. A positive, if unintended, side effect.

There is, at some point during all of this, confirmation of Spock's unengaged status, another call with T'Pring which Spock does not know Kirk hears the tail end of, in which T'Pring notes Spock's reluctance to move forward in the way he so desires, Spock has a mild rebuttal, and Stonn behind her makes a comment of his own to which Spock waspishly (for him) replies As the Vulcan who caused the dissolution of my engagement to T'Pring, please note that I will not be following any of your advice on the matter of my romantic entanglements before telling T'Pring his still-fond farewell and hanging up just in time for Kirk to be there a few seconds later.

There is, however, at this point no confirmation what or who T'Pring meant Spock should be chasing.

It is no matter currently. This evening, Spock returns from his classes with a bag of food, and when he notes from the cadence of Kirk's breathing that he is awake despite being in bed, he turns on the lights partway and moves to one of the desks to begin taking out containers of food.

"I am aware you are awake. I have brought us both Thai food. You are not required to eat it now, but it is here when you desire it." The logo on the bag is from the first restaurant they went to together socially as something resembling date-like. He does not anticipate Kirk noting it as a purposeful gesture, but that is immaterial.

He will, as ever, be as his friend needs him.

Because that is what Kirk is: Spock's friend.

From:

smartass_captain

Confirmation that Spock is not, in fact, engaged is something Jim kicks around bitterly in his head but ultimately it doesn't change much. When did that happen? Who knows. Kind of makes sense that Spock's been trying to rebound from her though. Find his own slice of happiness out here on Earth. He's got no clue why Some of those girlfriends didn't work out and has tried to stop thinking about just who gets to monopolize his roommate's time now that Jim's cut loose from what he Thought was his shot at that 'something more' everyone talks about so damn fondly.

Jim might have kept pretending to be asleep because how the fuck does Spock know he's faking it? He's great at faking being asleep (he thinks). But the Thai food smells Really good. And hell, it's the first good thing Jim can count happening all week. He's been struggling a little with his classes ever since the thing with Mitchell bombed. He hasn't been a WRECK or anything just.

Unmotivated. (Depressed, Bones has said). He hasn't missed any assignment turn ins, but they haven't been up to his usual quality.

"You brought me Tom-yum soup?" His hair's a disaster when Jim sits up. As the sheet falls back it's clear he's in a state of undress. Entire undress, given Spock can hear him fishing for and pulling on his underwear while the sheet covers his modesty. And that's entirely for Spock's modesty here, not Jim's. "Did you grab the vegetarian egg rolls too?"

From:

sensors

"I did," Spock confirms, studiously Not Looking toward Kirk while he finds and puts his underwear back on. He, personally, takes off the outer layers he has on, coat and uniform jacket, leaving him in a short-sleeved undershirt. "Both. I also ordered curry, 'sticky' rice, and picked up coffee and tea on my way back."

From the cafe they used to frequent much more often.

Spock passes Kirk's bed on his way to adjust the lights further now that Kirk is no longer pretending to be asleep and thoughtlessly reaches to straighten the spikes of his hair while doing so. It is something he has done before, though not on a daily basis and less often as late since they have seen far less of one another. It is, in fact, the one physical contact he allowed himself regularly, always initiated on his own terms.

"I am gratified that you are willing to dine with me," he says, "we have spent far less time together recently than I had previously become accustomed to."

From:

smartass_captain

Mmm, Spock's been passing his Security requirements with flying colors. Better than Jim's been doing at them. Has he filled out more since the start of the year, or taken to wearing less baggy shirts beneath his uniform?? Either way he's hot as fuck but Jim better not stare. Much more than he already has, at least.

Even through the fog of his mood, Jim can't help but to chuckle softly at the fingers dragging through his hair. It's a touch he's always loved. Never commented on for fear it would Stop. Jim slides out of bed leaving the sheet pulled back so he can get back in later and saunters over to Spock's desk to help himself to a pile of food.

"Ohhh you got the Hot curry too. Nice!" In fact Spock has avoided anything with peanuts or pineapple in them owing to Jim's allergies. "Are we mixing and matching or which one's mine? I'm assuming the hot curry is Mostly yours." Jim's pretty adventurous when it comes to food (assuming he Can eat it) but Spock has a higher spice tolerance than he does.

Thanks to Spock's insistence, they do have a small set of basic dishware for serving up the takeout without having to resort to flimsy disposable items. It means they can grab food and then settle to eat together. Jim makes a nearly obscene sound for the coffee. He doesn't hike out to the café this is from nearly often enough but they have his absolute favorite blend. As good as an old friend greeting him.

"Hm?" Glancing up. "Course I'm willing to. I'm always willing to hang out when I can actually catch you these days."

Though Jim's been just as unavailable until the last week or so, he knows. "Mmh!" He puts his spoon back down. "Still hot. Like, temperature hot--not spicy hot."

From:

sensors

It is a comfort to Spock as well to have the contact. Touching Kirk's hair is the only way other than fabric to make absolutely sure there is no accidental transference, and this feels more direct somehow, more solid. He has not and does not with anyone else. Just Kirk.

"I ordered a number of things I know we both enjoy so that we can share any combination of dishes." This is spoken as he sets up his own plate and then moves to sit, taking a sip of his tea as he (wisely) waits to take a bite of the food. He also (wisely) attempts to ignore the sound that Kirk just made over a cup of coffee.

"I apologize, my wording was incorrect. I am glad that we are both able to have this meal together, I am aware it is not a matter of you being unwilling. It is true, however, that our schedules have not aligned over the past several weeks."

He does arch an eyebrow slightly when Kirk takes a bite too quickly, his mouth twitching at one corner before he can stop it.

He is more content, he finds, than he has been since that night months ago.

"Perhaps more care should be taken," he says, a little wryly, in the tone he uses when he is making a joke.

From:

smartass_captain

A wiser man would notice that Spock switched to saying 'glad' over 'gratified' along with everything else he amended. Jim is no such man yet. He is also currently more concerned with the most serious of torments: Hungry but Food Too Hot. It's rare for Spock to sit so close to him even when they're sharing a meal. Jim supposes it makes sense though. If they're going to risk spilling, better to do it on just one of their beds.

"Well aside from a metric ass-ton of term finals I've got nothing planned for a while." Which is how Jim likes it this time of year. He doesn't want to deal with holidays. Doesn't want to fucking deal with his birthday. Just let him exist in torpor until after Remembrance Day is over. He taps the side of his coffee cup while he sips at it again, clearly pondering.

"Have we done that one? It means a lot."

From:

sensors

Spock opens his mouth to inquire over what a metric ass-ton is, but then pauses. He tilts his head slightly, also clearly considering something, and then:

"I also do not have plans other than coursework for quite some time." Going back to Vulcan over holiday break is simply not feasible for the amount of studying he intends to do and even his mother does not celebrate Terran Christmas. They observed Hannukah several times when Spock was a child but not further into adulthood. The intent was to teach him a measure of Terran culture and then move on once he had the knowledge. As such, he has no pressing need other than his homesickness to return.

After that though, he blinks, not quite following the thread of thought.

"Done which one?" He thinks it may tie to what he just said, but it may be an esoteric reading of his joke that he is struggling with. Or something else entirely, as has also at times happened.

From:

smartass_captain

The joke had earned him a bit of a pout but little more in the way of a response as Jim had been in the grips of suffering. And while normally? Hearing that Spock and he had schedules lining up for the next month or so would thrill Jim, this particular time of year not so much. Jim doesn't want to see anyone, including Spock or Bones. He just wants to get drunk until he's numb and go stare at a wall for a few weeks.

Which can't happen until the term is over.

"Was explaining my turn of phrase. I was being hyperbolic to dramatically draw attention to the sheer number of papers, projects, and tests I've got coming up in the next two weeks."

For now, a bit of camaraderie and some good food are fuel to get Jim through to the end of said term. He needs the pick-me-up given how low energy he's been for the last week.

From:

sensors

To get an explanation without asking for it aloud, for Kirk to anticipate and attempt to go over it unprompted—a very slight flush rises on Spock's cheeks before he can stop it. "I see. Thank you for the explanation."

And if Spock is listing toward Kirk slightly as they sit, he does not even notice. It is natural, comfortable, and, despite everything, easy.

"Then I too have a 'metric ass-ton' of course work to do in the coming weeks."

From:

smartass_captain

"Trying to keep in mind when I say weird shit." Jim replies with an easy tip of his head Spock's way. He hasn't looked up from his bowl where he's communing with his soup now that he can physically begin to inhale it. Thai isn't even Jim's favorite type of food, but it's a warm meal on a night where he hadn't really paid attention much to the food he automatically put into his face when he needed to before this. And crucially, it reminds him of the first time he drug Spock out across the dorms to treat the other to some genuinely well made vegetarian fare that was more than just basic meals with the meat removed.

He does, however, sputter on a spoonful of curry and have to laugh when Spock repeats the phrasing back to him. His eyes are shining when he peers up. Full of glee and a little mischief.

"Yeah, you've got even more courses than I do. You going to study sessions with your girlfriend or can I steal you away to the library for some support?" He's half joking, but when Spock confesses he isn't seeing anyone else Jim can't help the blossom of warm satisfaction in his chest. Good. Then he can selfishly see more of his room mate while he desperately needs any reason to urge himself out of bed. It's a feeling that's all the more reinforced when Jim wakes Up the next morning and doesn't have to pry himself out of bed with a transporter.

Does he still feel like shit? Kinda?? But Spock is there waiting to go get coffee (and tea) before they part for their first hour classes and Jim knows he'd drag himself over hot coals to not miss out. There's not much seeing the other while Jim juggles flight sims, security practicals, labs, and classes. Save for their one computer science course where Jim all but slumps into the open seat Spock has saved for him and has to chug his coffee with extra shots of espresso to be functional enough to pay attention to the material when he's already this tired.

They stake a claim to what has become their Usual table in the back of the library to work on their written assignments. Spock comes and goes during these after class hours as he has a few evening classes well past when Jim finishes. But he always makes certain to come fetch Jim before the library closes. To herd him off for food and to usher the other to bed before he can stay up All night working on his coding or papers.

It makes Jim prickle a little. Insist he doesn't need to be fussed over. But even as he says it he knows he's grateful for it. That between Spock and Bones making time in Their over busy schedules to ensure he's eaten or slept in Spock's case Jim's actually somewhat functional over the next couple of weeks. Rather than a caffeinated wraith jittering through the halls at three am looking for a lab to commandeer to keep working just that bit longer.

One by one, the presentations, papers, tests get checked off. Removed from Jim's plate. Leaving him room to breathe which he'd hate this time of year. In this case he simply follows Spock or Bones around. Helping them where he can while studying perpetually for whatever's left. The term is a blessed distraction for the looming holidays. One Jim needs. As their last tests wrap up, he feels as much unease as he does relief wandering out of the lecture hall to go and see if Spock has finished his own test...

From:

sensors

It is... A pleasant end to a term. Busy, and near-overwhelming even for Spock, but pleasant. His time spent with Kirk is more and more coveted, and he is glad for each moment together, whether it be studying, eating, or simply taking the split-second flashes of free time to relax.

Spock, at some point, foregoes wearing a shirt entirely once the room is finally at an optimal temperature for his body chemistry. There is no ulterior motive behind it, the only thought being of comfort. He never quite strips down to his underwear as Kirk does, but he is, clearly, extremely comfortable around his roommate.

Today though, just after their last assignments and exams, Spock is fully dressed in his normal robes as he sits at his desk because he is on a call with his mother.

His mother, who is lecturing him about how he has yet to approach Kirk about his feelings.

"I see that you have been speaking with T'Pring," he notes tiredly after she asks if he has done so yet, "I have not informed him. We have both been busy and there is no point. He has not responded with marked romantic interest to my current level of attention as far as I am aware, and I hold little faith that saying so plainly would alter that behavior. Our social interactions will remain as they have been."

You need to tell him, Spock. She says it in the tone she takes when she is parsing Spock being an idiot gently. If you don't tell him, you'll regret it later.

"I will, as is colloquially noted, 'get over it.'" And he means that, he does, until she continues.

Every time you talk about that boy you look exactly like your father did when he was courting me.

For one of the very rare times in his life, Spock stutters. "I—Mother, I do not wish to hear about my father's expressions during that time." But she said he looks like Sarek. Like his fully Vulcan father, not like some lovestruck human, not like he is not Vulcan enough due to his feelings. He inhales. It shakes once before he evens it out. "However, I will take your advice under consideration."

Good, she says, because if you don't tell Cadet Kirk anything, T'Pring said she was going to do it for you.

That point is about where Spock hears the door open and he tenses visibly because he's been caught out, he has to figure something out—

—Kirk is leaving and in a hurry, but not because he is upset with Spock. He seems to be upset with his brother, which Spock is confused about for a moment.

Samuel Kirk.

Kirk.

Kirk thinks that Spock is in love with his brother.

Even though the mere thought makes Spock's stomach lurch unpleasantly, he takes a breath and turns to his mother. "I will contact you later," he says, then terminates the call and rushes out of the room.

He hopes, foolishly, that he will catch up to Kirk before Kirk reaches his brother. He knows it is unlikely, but he holds the irrational thought in his head nonetheless.

From:

smartass_captain

Honestly Jim is starting to think he needs to tell Spock to send him a message when he's having terminal calls. It hasn't happened Often, is the thing. But Spock gets so focused on them that he doesn't pay attention to Jim coming in. And honestly, despite Jim not trying to Stealth his way into his dormitory he's overheard a Lot he wasn't supposed to on these calls over the year. So he's about to alert himself and apologize, except he's stunned silent.

That boy??? Spock had said he wasn't seeing anyone. It was because he was crushing on some Guy??? Meaning Spock is fine with guys. Meaning Jim Kirk has a chance but he's now on a time crunch. He's reeling from that alone. Trying to process just how he's going to make this work when NOTHING he's tried up until now has gotten any kind of a reaction out of Spock.

We're friends, he'd very clearly told Jim. And Jim believes him. But Just Friends isn't exactly what Jim has been aiming for at any point since they got to know each other. Who does he have to edge out? When his mother mentions Kirk Jim swears he forgets how to breathe for a second. How? When??

No fucking WONDER Spock always looks so put out. All this time? Jim works his jaw, his fists clenching at his sides.

"You just can't let me have fucking ANYTHING can you, Sam? No, it'll never work. Nooo, don't get your hopes up. Just so you could string him along all this fucking time..." He's seething the whole way up to the third floor. This is bullshit. Sam just can't be happy for him ever can he? Jim outscores him on a test, Sam's pissy. Jim decides to take harder classes? Sam't pissy. Jim crushes on his room mate? Oh nooo, Sam is pulling some fucking gaslighting bullshit stringing Spock along so Jim can't talk to him????

NO, that's where Jim Kirk draws a fucking line.

He's not kicking in his brother's door but only out of respect to his brother's room mate. He bangs on it loud enough he can tell he's startled some of Sam's neighbors. The second it swishes open JIm is storming into his brother's face.

"You son of a bitch! This whole time?! This whole time you KNEW and you just had to fucking make sure I couldn't have anything nice didn't you? Do you even know he's in love with you???"

Sam, understandably, is very confused by this. His chest hurts where Jim is prodding his sternum and his brother is crowding into his space until he's practically against his own desk.

"Jim are you fucking high or something? What are you talking about??!"

"Don't fucking play dumb with me Sam! That's why you didn't want me talking to Spock, isn't it?!" His voice shakes a little at the end so incensed is he.

From:

sensors

Several thought processes work at once while Spock hurries after Kirk up to the third floor.

Kirk thinks Spock is in love with his elder brother. Kirk is angry about this not at Spock, but at said brother. Kirk is so incensed that Spock believes there is a possibility for violence.

Why?

He skids to a stop in the corridor outside Sam Kirk's dormitory, eyes very slightly wide from what he has heard of Kirk's tirade.

It almost sounds as though Kirk himself—

—Spock realizes, all at once, what a fool he has been all this time and takes a step into the room to attempt stopping things, to take Kirk aside and explain.

However, Samuel Kirk has the impeccable timing of opening his mouth just then.

From:

smartass_captain

"Whoa whoa, okay calm down Jim. Jimmy come on. I don't know what rumors you're hearing--"

Don't you fucking "Jimmy" me I'm not a goddamned kid anymore." He's in Sam's space, hissing every word and shaking with barely contained rage. Sam honestly? Is a little afraid whatever rumor is going around is going to make his baby brother actually try to swing at him so he's operating in survival mode. The same thing that always worked when they'd get into fights as kids.

"Jim. I promise, whatever you've heard isn't true. Have I ever dated another guy? No! And I wouldn't do that to you, especially not with your room mate." The fact Jim thinks he'd fuck that walking toaster is insulting really but he's heard of people spiking Jim's drinks before. If his little brother went and got himself so fucked up he thinks Sam's got as shit taste as he does, he can smooth this over and Jim will owe him.

And it sorta works? For a second or two Jim just glares at him. Then his gaze flickers and he takes half a step back. Ready to hear Sam out if nothing else. Even if he doesn't believe it. Which is when the Vulcan decides to waltz into Sam's room.

"What, because you respect me so much?" Jim says, disbelief dripping from his words. Sam looks over Jim's shoulder and he can't help it. He barks out a short laugh at the absurdity of the whole thing.

"No! Because even if I magically woke up one day with your feral urge to sock cock, Jim, there is no way in hell I'd look at That--" Nodding over Jim's shoulder to where Spock is standing in His room like the Vulcan belongs anywhere near here. "And think, yeah. That's what I'm into."

"...That?" Jim doesn't get it at first. What, Vulcan physiology that much different than a human's? Sam's a xenoanthropology and biology specialist and he can't talk anatomy??? But he noticed the way Sam nodded. He looks over his shoulder. Spock is here. He wasn't talking to Jim. He was talking to Spock. About Spock. Like he wasn't even a Person.

You know, the guy Crushing on Sam Kirk. Even in some crazy universe that Sam didn't know before, he does NOW. And he still said that to Spock?? Jim calmly turns back around. Looks up at Sam. And the second Sam Kirk opens his mouth to say something else Jim rears back and decks him so hard he stumbles against his desk and topples into a heap on the floor.

"If I ever catch you near Spock again you're going to get a lot more than a fat lip." Jim grits out through clenched teeth.

From:

sensors

Spock is about to say something when the elder Kirk treats him like a thing. Calls him that. Right to his face.

And then Kirk is looking at him and Spock wants nothing more than to—

Than to—

—Kirk's fist connects with his brother's face and Spock's eyes widen. He barely hears what Kirk says afterward but it does not matter: Spock says nothing, but he does grip Kirk's sleeve and yank him out of the room. He maintains this facade of calm and quiet until he gets them both into the stairwell. He intends to get them back to their dormitory before he does anything rash but at the first landing they reach he gives in and presses Kirk against the wall, the hand on his sleeve shifting to grab his hand and pin it too.

He looks at him, eyes still wide, and then kisses him. Hard, a little aggressive, but at the same time almost fervent. When he pulls back it is only briefly and only enough to speak against his mouth. "Jim," he says, the name thick on his tongue without any qualifiers, "while that was incredibly attractive, I have much better taste than to be interested in your brother in the first place."

And then, as though to punctuate the statement, he kisses him again.

Edited Date: 2025-02-05 10:40 pm (UTC)