The Academy AU for [personal profile] sensors

Jan. 28th, 2025 04:36 pm
smartass_captain: (Wondering)
[personal profile] smartass_captain
The night Sam Kirk walks into the Kirk family farmhouse his little brother throws a fucking beer bottle at his face. He misses. If he'd hit, the next several years might not have happened.



Jim is twenty years old and his life is a fucking mess.

He's no longer in the goddamn hospital every other month, but still in mandatory therapy until he ages out of the system on his 21st birthday. His therapist has worked with him since. Well. Since he got mandated one by the University of Iowa's children's hospital when they brought him home and nursed him back from the brink of being starved to death. Sam isn't here about Tarsus though. He's here because he heard little Jimmy just got out of a stint in county for petty theft.

Why's a guy stealing bread in this day and age? Jim doesn't give him a satisfactory answer. He can't. There isn't one. He'd been better until he'd left his personal device at home for a weekend boke trip. Without his meal schedule Jim can't function. But see, his body doesn't tell him when he's hungry anymore either, so Jim hadn't noticed until it was day three and he started hurting. All sense left him. Next thing he knows he's sitting in a jail cell being watched while he eats the food they gave him because anyone can see Jim Kirk is still too thin. Jim hates it. That look of fucking pity.

He was home and on his fourth beer of the evening when his fucking older brother strides in like he hasn't been gone for the last damn near decade of Jim's life.

"Sober up. I want you to come into town with me tomorrow and take a test." Sam had said. Jim thinks he told his brother to fuck off. He thinks he tried, but he might have stormed off so the other didn't see him break down into tears. He dodges Sam for three days before they bond over noon breakfast talking about when their mom finally found out about and ditched Frank. Sam asks where Winona sent him then, since neither of them believes for a second she stayed Earthside to raise him herself.

Jim lies.

But the lie works. And so he lets Sam drive them into town chattering the whole time about Starfleet. He wants Jim to take an aptitude test. If he passes, well. Dear ol' big brother's gonna whisk him away to San Francisco so they can enlist together. Sam got in, you see. Second attempt, so maybe Jimmy won't be going with him Right away.

"Jim." Jim corrects him. He's toying with the idea of maybe letting Sam talk him into this, but he's not forgetting the last damn near decade so easily. Not forgiving it yet, either. He tells himself he'll take the stupid test to shut his brother up. And hell, maybe he'll even beat his 'big bro' and pass on a first try. He aces it, hangover and all. Sam seems real keen on congratulating himself for giving Jim pointers the last couple days and Jim doesn't argue much.

A change of scenery seems like a decent idea.

All he wants to take fits into a single duffel bag he tosses into the back of Sam's beater of a truck and they make for San Francisco...

Date: 2025-02-03 04:49 am (UTC)
sensors: (082)
From: [personal profile] sensors
It would definitely be cute and romantic and not at all weird! However, they are both fucking stupid so put a pin in that for later.

Spock is back to an almost serene (insomuch as he is ever serene countenance as they walk and discuss their futures. Starfleet is the first place Spock has felt he could ever even try to belong, and Kirk is one of the reasons for it. He considers his fellow cadet's indecisiveness for a moment, rolling the thought over in his head.

"Command would suit you well," he finally says, decisive.

The thing about Spock communicating such is this: of course he knows about the Kelvin. He has looked up and read up on the entire thing, knew before even coming to Starfleet Academy at least some of it. But all this time, he has never treated Kirk as though he is attempting to chase a legacy he does not deserve. Even hearing that Kirk wanted to meet and surpass his father's tenure at the academy had not drawn such a conclusion from him. Spock is earnest to a fault, and this is his opinion based off what he has observed, not what anyone else has done or told him.

"People are drawn to your personality." A beat. "I would not be opposed to such a commanding officer."

High praise from Spock, who has held polite derision for many of their instructors up until this point.

Date: 2025-02-03 05:26 am (UTC)
sensors: (059)
From: [personal profile] sensors
Spock almost startles, to see the flush on Kirk's face. Almost. He does not, however, and wisely does not call attention to it as Kirk had not called attention to his own earlier, had he noticed.

Illogically, it almost feels as though his heart skips a beat in his side. That he finds the human as charming as he does has been a consistent issue for Spock, and that is clearly not changing any time soon despite the unlikelihood of Kirk being interested in him. He repeats this to himself several times before he says anything else; by now it has reached the point it rests on Kirk to lead them to the restaurant they will eat at, so he allows him to do so.

He looks at Kirk out of the corner of his eyes, briefly unable to hide the fondness there should Kirk so much as turn his head to see it.

"I have not," he says simply, "I am uniquely unsuited." The way he says it does not indicate he thinks that he cannot. No. He simply has no desire to be whatsoever. The extent he wishes his level of leadership to be is simply over a group of scientists. That, he thinks, would be enough.

Date: 2025-02-03 05:02 pm (UTC)
sensors: (097)
From: [personal profile] sensors
It feels... Right to be sitting across a table from Jim Kirk debating. Spock is gratified by the mutual conclusion at the end of their meal and tells Kirk such.

He feels more confident than he has in a long time, or ever, to know that he has helped influence Kirk to where he is both best suited and will be happiest. He is born to captain not because of his father but in spite of him on his own merits.

The room is much, much more comfortable when they return, and Spock cards his glance toward Kirk's shocked laugh, about to offer the 'happy medium' again as Kirk realizes just how warm it is going to be, but the upset never comes. He simply leaves to shower and returns in the state of dress he will be most comfortable in.

Undress.

In any case he studiously, as always, does not let his gaze linger (while Kirk is looking at him) and goes for his own shower. He is not quite so unclothed when he emerges, but he is in simply loose pants and light short-sleeved shirt, the most dressed down Kirk will have ever seen him.

He sits at his own desk to work, but as they do, the image of Kirk as he currently is while he discusses the paper with Spock sits with him and sits with him and sits with him. He keeps resolutely turned toward his screen so that Kirk cannot see the very slight flush that splashes across his cheeks.

It is good like this, however. Spock is happy. He believes Jim Kirk to be happy and engaged as well, which is satisfactory.

He will simply meditate tonight to situate his thoughts and pull them gently away from peeling the last piece of clothing from Kirk's body and pinning him to the mattress.

And he does! It does not help, but he does.

Their papers are turned in promptly; there will be a day to process them before announcing the verdict, but Spock is confident it will go in their favor.

This is what he is on a call with T'Pring about in that interim day, in their dormitory in his dressed-down state and allowing her to go over the list of courses Spock has picked from the options to take and offer her opinions as a second set of (Vulcan) eyes.

The call is nearing its conclusion, though, and T'Pring informs him, utterly deadpan, that her mother sends her regards.

"Your mother has made her dislike for me clear since before we bonded," he replies, an extremely dry statement of fact, "and as such her regards are her relief that I have left Vulcan. You may also give her the regard of my satisfaction from not being on the same planet as her. I trust you to relay the message as given."

And then, with a slight tilt of his head reserved for people Spock holds at least a measure of affection for, he adds, "I have found our conversation illuminating and engaging. Thank you, T'Pring. I will contact you again when our schedules allow."

And that is the end of the call; Spock hangs up and returns to his work.

Date: 2025-02-03 06:02 pm (UTC)
sensors: (006)
From: [personal profile] sensors
Spock should have heard them coming. He was too engaged in his conversation with T'Pring, however, and by the time he turns to greet Kirk (and note that the elder Kirk (derogatory) is present), he is already shoving books into his bag and leaving. There is something strained in him that is not normally present around Spock and Kirk does not even give him time to speak before he is gone.

Spock is, frankly, mystified. However, he attempts to attribute it to human fluctuations in mood and the fact that Kirk and his brother often seem to be at odds with one another.

Something about it is off, but he forces himself to not think about it as he continues his studying, eats alone (which he has not done in weeks now), and goes to bed.

He is in what amounts to fitful meditation when he receives a call; it being from Doctor McCoy and the time of night both make something clench tight in his side; the explanation does not help in the least, but Spock hurriedly dresses and heads out to meet both McCoy and Kirk to assist in getting everything sorted out, hopefully before any faculty notice.

It is chilly for anyone out, but extremely cold for a Vulcan—Spock forgot a jacket in his rush, but it does not matter. What matters to him is Kirk.

Date: 2025-02-03 06:25 pm (UTC)
sensors: (079)
From: [personal profile] sensors
For just a moment, Spock feels cold but not because of the temperature.

The smell of rum, sweat, and blood is strong enough to his nose that Spock actually cannot help wrinkling it slightly before he forces his expression to return to normal.

He shoots McCoy a look, who returns it with worry and exasperation in his face. Spock crouches on the grass next to Kirk, brows knit tightly. "You require medical attention. As you have previously stated that Doctor McCoy is the medical professional you prefer when needed, it would be preferable for you to allow him to do so."

He knows that reasoning with an inebriated person does not work. He does not enjoy entertaining paths of action he is aware of the certain failure of; however, he will at least be able to say he attempted to before simply bodily hauling the human off of the ground.

And for the fair warning:

"Should you continue to refuse, I will be forced to move you myself."

Date: 2025-02-03 07:17 pm (UTC)
sensors: (014)
From: [personal profile] sensors
Speaking of words digging under someone's skin, what Kirk says feels like thorns, knives, cutting deep; McCoy's reassurance does not help though Spock appreciates the attempt.

And Kirk just keeps going. Spock is not sure what caused this breakdown, what made Kirk react like this, or what is making him attempt to push them away.

"We will not be leaving you alone," is what he says just before Kirk grabs his arm. Spock's eyes flick down to his fellow cadet's hand. "What they think has no bearing on the truth of your worth, Cadet Kirk." It has been a long time since he tacked Cadet on either verbally or mentally, but he is compartmentalizing very quickly all at once in ways he has not had to since childhood. He is trying to take into account that Kirk is deeply intoxicated, that he likely will not remember what he is saying. However, for Spock, when people say things to him, they mean them.

He has still not fully grasped the ease with which humans lie.

"You will also not be, as you say, 'beating the shit out of' me. Should you desire to not be 'babysat,' you must act in ways that do not require it." His voice is quiet and clipped, but not cold.

"Both of us together should be able to drag his ass back inside," McCoy says, and Spock nods sharply once before adjusting his position in order to get a proper grip on Kirk to haul him up to his feet despite the way the human is still gripping to his arm. Even through the fabric of his sleeve, Spock can feel echoes of intense, jumbled emotions through transference—he does not understand them.

"It would be preferable if you would comply."

Date: 2025-02-03 07:44 pm (UTC)
sensors: (010)
From: [personal profile] sensors
Indeed, Spock is not going to let Kirk struggle. He has not been this upset or angry in a very, very long time, but he does not lash out even though he illogically feels as though Kirk saying he hates them (hates Spock) has reached into his side and ripped his heart out. He does not lash out, he does not lash out, he does not lash out—

—Spock says nothing, but he does shift his hand enough to apply a nerve pinch and then catches his dead weight as soon as Kirk is out.

Then he straightens, hauling Kirk up with him and over his shoulder like he weighs nothing, and gives McCoy a nod so that they can get him inside, treated, and put to bed.

McCoy is, unfortunately, able to see the brief flash of hurt in Spock's eyes before he shutters it away behind what appears to be cold indifference.

"I will leave him to your care once we have taken him inside." Because he needs to step away. Needs to be alone. Needs to be where no one will see it if he breaks down.

Even more illogically, he finds that he desires to be in his mother's presence.

Date: 2025-02-03 09:49 pm (UTC)
sensors: (073)
From: [personal profile] sensors
"I care for his well-being. It was logical to assist." Spock says it stiffly as he sets Kirk down where he is instructed to, and then nods. "I thank you for ensuring his safety."

After that is when Spock leaves. He does not return to the dormitory, instead stepping out into the cold in the hopes that it will cause him to be unable to focus on anything else. It is foolish and irrational, but he is not thinking about that just now.

He does not keep track of how long he sits out in one of the gardens, looking up at the stars—looking at Vulcan's presence in the night sky. He has never felt homesick until this very moment.

At one point he notes the dirt remaining on his sleeve and does his best to brush it off. He wonders, bitterly, why Sybok would ever want to loosen the reins on his emotions if it becomes possible to feel like this with no recourse.

Not that attempting to meditate helps, of course.

It is almost dawn before McCoy finds him and Spock's expression is at least back to its baseline; the hurt has left his eyes. So has the softness, however, that normally lingers in the corners.

"It is late, Doctor. Or early, depending on which way you consider the timing." An observation: McCoy at least should be getting rest while he is able. Spock is able to go far longer than a human without rest; his health will not suffer from a single night of brooding.

Date: 2025-02-04 12:13 am (UTC)
sensors: (058)
From: [personal profile] sensors
"He was correct in stating so." Dry.

Normally, Spock might have some kind of pithy comment in response to the Not A Question. However, he is stung and raw enough that he simply puts his coat on. The gloves give him longer pause—sharing gloves is an extremely, hopelessly intimate gesture for Vulcans, all things considered. He is aware that is not the case with Terrans, but it still leaves him overwhelmed in a different way than he had already just been.

Spock puts the gloves on.

"No. However, Vulcans in an overwhelming majority deal with being inebriated very differently. And while I have witnessed intoxication in humans since my arrival on Earth, I have not had to closely interact with the concept previously." So: Yes and no.

Date: 2025-02-04 12:45 am (UTC)
sensors: (072)
From: [personal profile] sensors
"Thank you." Just that for a long moment, quiet. He looks over at McCoy as he speaks, brow slightly knit. The explanation both helps and makes him feel more lost over the entire exchange.

"I am still unused to the ease with which humans say things that they do not mean." This is not to say that Spock has never lied: he will not admit it, but he has. Through omission, mostly. However, it was never like this.

Spock is about to note that they did indeed have 'one hell of a day yesterday, but his wounded curiosity after the man states he has an idea of the problem gives him pause; he tilts his head slightly.

"Please elaborate on your theory."

Date: 2025-02-04 05:31 am (UTC)
sensors: (036)
From: [personal profile] sensors
Spock listens to everything that Doctor McCoy has to say without interruption. He briefly looks as though he will ask a question about the relevance of citrus fruits to one's expression, but he ends up not doing so. Instead, he sits slightly less rail-straight next to him and looks out across the garden they are in before he says anything at all.

"I am familiar," he finally says, "with that type of mandated delicacy." He does not indicate if he means it with family or otherwise, nor does he indicate if it involves himself or if so, he actually shows any measurable restraint of his normal flat delivery.

At length, he speaks again. "I have not changed my opinion of Jim Kirk as a whole." A beat, and he adds: "However, I am—" He pauses, attempting to find the correct word for it. Angry does not exactly suit. Nor does disappointed, though it is tempting to say as much. "Somewhat vexed."

Date: 2025-02-04 05:25 pm (UTC)
sensors: (084)
From: [personal profile] sensors
To Spock, the concept of forgetting an entire night is something unfathomable. He perfectly recalls everything from nearly his entire life, and now to have the memory of the past night burning in his head forever, and for Kirk to not even remember what he said—

—Spock does not make comment on that. He also does not make comment on the doctor calling their responses ugly feelings. "He has not." That much he can and will confirm. "He has been nothing but kind, accommodating, and helpful since our introduction."

And that is what Spock remembers the most, and will continue to remember. He hopes.

He also, of course, does not know how to stop Kirk's spiral from continuing.

"I do not like George Samuel Kirk." Flat. He has tolerated him up until this point, but if his behavior is why Kirk is in this state, his patience has reached its limit.

However, Samuel Kirk is not here. Doctor McCoy is.

"I thank you for taking the time to speak with me. It is appreciated. I am aware that we do not always agree, but you have always had my respect."

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bless

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they're so stupid (fond)

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they're REALLY good lmao

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honestly i laugh every time, it's so good

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Jim Kirk

April 2025

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